One of the neatest comics moments of 2014, from Buffy Season 10. Art by Rebekah Isaacs.

Comics collecting has been my primary geek interest since age 6, but I have a tough time writing about it with any regularity for a long list of reasons. I started a “Best Comics of 2014″ entry at the end of January, saved it and then procrastinated the heck out of it. Since my wife and I will be attending the Indiana Comic Con this weekend, comics are foremost on my mind tonight and I think I’m ready to move forward and express a thought or two. At the very least, a lot of lists are in order.

Favorite comics from 2014, in random order:

* Buffy Season 10: I gave up less than halfway through Buffy Season 9, but stuck with the concurrent Angel and Faith series because the team supreme of Christos Gage and Rebekah Isaacs captured the voices, faces, tones, and drama of the Buffyverse better than any previous Buffy comics I’d read, more than making up for the sins of Season 8 even as they sniped at it. When they were handed the reins for Season 10, I knew we were in for even better things, and I have yet to be disappointed. I feel like I should be grumpy about the return of Giles on principle, but the truth is the handling and the results won’t stop exceeding expectations.

* Ms. Marvel: Because Kamala Khan is keen and plucky optimist heroes are such a rarity. She may not share my faith, but the same could be argued of 99.99% of all super-heroes ever. The fact that she observes any faith — and not just the lip-service variety — makes her even more of a standout from her bitter, distracted, or no-opinion peers.

* Silver Surfer: Regular MCC readers know my wife and I signed on to Doctor Who fandom a little over a year ago. In a bit of cosmic-powered timing just for me, Dan Slott and Michael Allred picked the right moment to turn one of Marvel’s mopiest heroes into a fun-loving homage to the Doctor, complete with spirited human companion, far-reaching alien adventures, wit in the face of danger, and an intergalactic travel device that’s more like a supporting character than a prop. It’s the perfect gift from them to me!

* Moon Knight: In which Warren Ellis, Declan Shalvey, and Jordie Bellaire reminded me of a halcyon time when creators tried doing something different — not just with super-heroes, but with storytelling devices in general. Few are the artists who put page design and pacing to better use than static comic-strip squares or uniform, repetitive storyboards. Frankly, I’ve grown really tired of storyboard-style comics. It’s great to see chances being taken. Successfully, at that.

* Daredevil: Still Mark Waid and Chris Samnee. Still there, still got it, and ol’ Hornhead’s still unflappable even in darkest times. The story featuring the return of Matt’s mother, in which we learn why she abandoned her husband and son way back when, was one of the year’s best even though it was an Original Sin crossover. Astounding feat.

* Avatar: the Last Airbender Free Comic Book Day 2014: Previously reviewed. Still sticks out to me. months after the fact.

* Wild’s End: Mild-mannered British animal citizens versus deadly invaders in Dan Abnett and I. N. J. Culbard’s adventurous cross between The Wind in the Willows and The War of the Worlds that’s fuzzy and thrilling at the same time.

The resourceful runaway ensemble of Wild’s End. Art by I. N. J. Culbard.

2014 honorable mentions: Alex + Ada; The Autumnlands: Tooth and Claw; Beasts of Burden: Hunters & Gatherers; Lazarus; The Royals: Masters of War; The Wicked + the Divine.

Special awards for books that nailed deadlines and held my interest all year long: The Virginia Romita Traffic Management Award goes to Daredevil for publishing fourteen issues in 2014, plus a reprint of digital material, all of which I bought cheerfully. Special commendations for two other series that had a full twelve issues on sale in 2014: Batman ’66, and Hulk (counting issues of the preceding Indestructible Hulk). With eleven issues each in 2014, honorable mentions go to Astro City, Manifest Destiny, and She-Hulk.

Series that were canceled or ended as planned: The Manhattan Projects (returning soon in a different form, thankfully); She-Hulk; The Unwritten Apocalypse; Young Avengers.

New things I tried but dropped (among others): the Amazing Spider-Man relaunch; Batman ’66 vs. the Green Hornet; Dead Boy Detectives; Gotham Academy; Roche Limit; Rocket Raccoon; Serenity: Leaves on the Wind; Ten Grand; Three; Trees.

Books I was following but dropped in 2014: Atomic Robo (unshakeable resentment over the Last Stop Kickstarter letdown), Deadpool (started taking itself way too seriously); Green Hornet (despite Mark Waid); Iron Man (“Mandarin” is a trigger word for me); Lumberjanes (darling for what it is, but I’m just not the target audience); Magneto (crossover intrusion); Rocket Girl (delays between issues); Shutter (hard to explain why); Suicide Risk (unwelcome plot twist); Swamp Thing (crossover intrusion); United States of Murder, Inc. (delays); and the entire Valiant Comics line, which is now ALL about crossovers.

* * * * *

And that’s kind of an overview of my 2014 comics highlights. Here’s what I’m following as of this writing, broken down by publisher:

Marvel Comics: All-New Hawkeye, Captain Marvel, Daredevil, Hawkeye (leaving a light on for that one final issue), Howard the Duck (one issue in and it’s already my fave new series), Hulk, Moon Knight, S.H.I.E.L.D., Silver Surfer, Unbeatable Squirrel Girl (this was my fave new series till Howard #1 came out this week, so now it needs to retaliate with triple awesomeness).

DC Comics: Batman ’66, Secret Six. (Nope, still feeling zero New 52 love, though a few of their announced post-Convergence books sound shockingly promising.)

DC/Vertigo: Astro City; Suiciders.

Image Comics: Alex + Ada; The Autumnlands; Copperhead; Danger Club (nearly done); Descender; The Dying & the Dead; Lazarus; Manifest Destiny; Rumble; The Wicked and the Divine; Wayward; Wytches.

Dark Horse Comics: Angel & Faith, Buffy Season 10, Darth Vader, Ei8ht, Star Wars.

IDW: Little Nemo: Return to Slumberland.

Miniseries in progress: Bill and Ted’s Most Triumphant Return; Graveyard Shift; Groo: Friends and Foes; Millennium; Monster Motors: The Curse of Minivan Helsing; Princess Leia; Sandman: Overture (I’m only skimming each issue of this as they’re ready, in hopes that I’ll live long enough to read all eight together in one sitting someday before I die).

Following in trades: Fables, The Sixth Gun.

What I’m not collecting: Nearly all team books; crossovers; team-book crossovers; books that super-prioritize sex, sexing, sexosity, and sexological sexitude; crossovers crossing over with crossovers.

A lot of folks think guarding a single galaxy is an impressive feat. Try being a Guardian of the Universe for a day.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: my wife and I went to C2E2 and took photos! Other chapters in the series:

Part 1: Costume Contest Winners
Part 2: The Rest of the Costume Contest
Part 3: Edge of Deadpoolverse
Part 4: Might Marvel Costumes
Part 6: Mystery Science Costume Theater 3000
Part 7: Last Call for Costumes
Part 8: Stars of Comics and Screens
Part 9: Random Acts of C2E2ing

Today’s feature: costumes from comics besides Marvel — their Distinguished Competition as well as a few other popular print sources.

Green Lantern, favored errand guy for the Guardians of the Universe, hangs out with his best frenemy Star Sapphire.

Robin and Batgirl ’66 represent for old-school heroics.

Lobo represents for slightly less old-school antiheroics. Or plain ol’ villainy, depending on which side of his bike you stand.

Uncle Fester is a clown for Wonder Woman’s amusement.

Slade Wilson from Arrow threatens the line Friday before opening.

A more traditional Slade Wilson, a.k.a. Deathstroke the Terminator, trades war stories with Hellboy.

Batman Beyond! Or maybe another alt-future Batman. Since I don’t follow the New 52, for all I know this could be today’s Batman.

Scarecrow from the Arkham Asylum brings his own concoctions to help him get through the long convention weekend.

The military types from the manga and anime Attack on Titan are easy to spot once you learn their shared fashion guidelines.

Several Judges from Mega-City One, including a Judge Minion, surround Solid Snake from Metal Gear Solid. Snake hid under a box. It was his only defense.

Prince Robot IV from the Image Comics sensation Saga. Behind him in blurs is Madcap, a fun ’80s Captain America villain.

The foes from MAD Magazine‘s “Spy vs. Spy” have feuded for decades and still refuse to negotiate a treaty, even though their opposing governments probably made peace back in the ’90s.

To be continued!

The two of us have attended the Superman Celebration four times. This was our first group shot with their iconic statue. Photo by some fellow tourist with no concept of how centering works.

Every year since 1999 Anne and I have taken a road trip to a different part of the United States and seen wonders, constructs, architecture, and events we didn’t have back home in Indianapolis. From 1999 to 2003 we did so as best friends; from 2004 to the present, as husband and wife. My son tagged along from 2003 until 2013 when he ventured off to college. In later years those trips took the form of cross-country drives to other states, passing by odd roadside attractions to see historically significant locales, world-famous landmarks, and/or pretty natural scenery. For our first four trips, we were all about geek-centric gatherings.

Once upon a time in 2001, my best friend and I chose a summertime destination different from the conventions we’d attended the two previous years. At the southern tip of Illinois and across the Ohio River from Paducah, KY, the small town of Metropolis devotes the second weekend of every June to their world-famous Superman Celebration. More than just a carnival acknowledging their local heritage and history, the Celebration invites tourists from all walks to come join in their festivities, as well as actors from various Superman movies, TV shows, and other related Super-works who come in for autographs and Q&As.

The 37th annual Celebration is coming up this weekend, June 11-14, 2015. We regret we’ll be missing this one due to other commitments, but in honor of that special occasion, we dug through our scrapbooks and photo albums to unearth our 35mm souvenirs of the very first time we visited the self-styled real-world hometown of the Man of Steel.

Metropolis is a 300-mile drive from Indianapolis, roughly five hours if everyone stays out of my way. Head over to I-24, get off at Exit 37 north of the Ohio River, take US 45 west for a few miles and you can’t miss it unless your windows are painted black.

Welcome to the world of the Man of Tomorrow!

In case the billboard isn’t enough, other landmarks will point the way toward their main straightaway, Market Street, where all the action is.

Superman, who can change the course of mighty rivers! And some of that redirected water is probably in this tower!

Every Metropolis tourist is required by federal law to pay a visit to the Superman statue on their town square. He stands astride a giant S with plenty of space for large groups to gather ’round for mandatory photo sessions. At that size he’s impossible to resist.

Could you say “No” to this heroic face?

Superman is fifteen feet tall, bronze, and permanently wearing the classic costume we knew throughout childhood. Strange phases, reboots, and questionable Hollywood choices are useless against this Last Son of Krypton.

Heavier than a speeding bullet! More fun than a locomotive! Able to see eye-to-eye with tall buildings at a single glance!

Rest assured the old Adventures of Superman TV show’s motto of “Truth, Justice, and the American Way” isn’t going away as far as Metropolis is concerned.

For maximum effect, bring your own bald eagle and apple pie.

Our most recent visit to Metropolis MCC: Superman Celebration 2012 Photos, so I can’t vouch for all of what’s there today. I know there’s now more than one of these cardboard standees to allow tourists and locals alike to imagine themselves as leaders of the Justice League. Or the Super-Friends, if you’re a bit older.

[Editors Note: Some proportions may not be to scale.]

This van was/is property of the Super Museum & Souvenir Store, the premier destination for fans of merchandise bearing the insignia of DC Comics’ most well-known super-hero. You can buy items from the front of the store or pay admission to see the one-of-a-kind exhibits in the official museum section in the rear.

I wouldn’t be surprised if there were a Hot Wheel car based on this design. Somewhere in my collection is a tiny flying spaceship that size, driven by Superman and equipped with a pair of toy-metal punching fists. They just don’t make spaceships like that anymore.

At the time, on the Super Museum’s back wall was this mural starring the Supermen we knew and loved on various live-action screens — Kirk Alyn, George Reeves, Christopher Reeve, and Dean Cain. And NO ONE ELSE.

Remember, this was five years before Superman Returns. And let’s not get started on all the voice actors who brought the animated Kal-El to life. Nothing against these four gentlemen, mind you…

To be continued! We direct you to Part Two for more about the Celebration guests and the great Super Museum, and to Part Three for a look at what else we found in the area that weekend. Thanks for reading!

Look, up on the bucket list! It’s a bird sanctuary! It’s a plane hangar! It’s the SUPER MUSEUM!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

Once upon a time in 2001, my best friend and I chose a summertime destination different from the conventions we’d attended the two previous years. At the southern tip of Illinois and across the Ohio River from Paducah, KY, the small town of Metropolis devotes the second weekend of every June to their world-famous Superman Celebration.

Much of the Superman Celebration is like any small-town carnival party: a mix of great local foods and pro concession stands; traveling amusement park rides; amateur sports competitions; a parade or two; a group community yard sale; and things like that. But every small-town carnival party committee in America wishes it had a tourist attractor as heroic as the Super Museum.

The front room is a free-admission merchandise store filled with metric tons of toys, action figures, clothing, school supplies, upscale statues, and other licensed goods based on Superman and other DC characters throughout the decades. There’s also a selection of comics, mostly back issues of various Superman titles, and half of those were dozens of leftover copies from the somewhat famous “Reign of the Supermen” arc that immediately followed the extremely famous “Death of Superman” arc. As of our most recent visit in 2012, I believe they still had several copies left, so you may not be too late to catch up on your Superman continuity.

Past a physical paywall, by which I mean an extra door and a cash register, is the Super Museum proper. For a modest fee visitors can view thousands of Superman artifacts, movie props, rare curios, and delicate stuff-‘n’-things from the personal collection of museum owner Jim Hambrick.

Sample museum exhibit: one of Christopher Reeve’s original Superman capes, At least I think it was Reeve’s. Embarrassing confession: my wife and I searched our files and found no evidence that we ever shared the story of this occasion in depth with any of our online friends. Any and all notes we took fourteen years ago are gone forever and we’re now running purely on our old-people memories here. So…yeah. Reeve’s cape, probably.

If/when you visit Metropolis, you have to do the Super Museum at least once. More than once is cool, too. I imagine Hambrick probably adds new exhibits from time to time, because his thoroughness and persistence strike me as habits of the highly effective collector who will never, ever stop collecting the things they love. It helps that Superman is the sort of icon who’s inspired so many works of art, entertainment, and commerce in his 75+ years of literature and motion-picture history.

All your favorite Supermen are represented to some degree. Next time we make it out there, I’d love to see if Henry Cavill’s earned a spot yet.

…so that’s one activity for your Superman Celebrations. The main event, though, is the gang of actors they bring in each year from Superman movies, Superman TV shows, and in recent years actors from other DC characters’ movies and shows. For example, 2014’s guests included Lois & Clark star Dean Cain (really, really, really nice guy — my wife met him at a Wizard World Chicago) and Billy Dee Williams — best known to you and me as Lando Calrissian, but he also played Harvey Dent in Tim Burton’s Batman, so he has DC cred. They’ll also invite actors who played significant bit parts in those same works, and a few writers and/or artists from the world of comics. Plenty of interesting personalities for every level of fandom.

The 2001 roster included a headlining trio of villains from the Christopher Reeve films:

* Valerie Perrine! Lex Luthor’s gun moll Miss Tessmacher from the original Superman: the Movie. In the autograph line, instead of asking hard-hitting journalist questions such as “What was it like working with Gene Hackman?” or “What was it like working with Christopher Reeve?” or “What was it like working with Richard Donner?” Anne remembered an interview she’d read a long time ago in which Perrine brought up the subject of dog training. Anne, whose dog Harrison could’ve used some of that, brought that up to her instead, and you could see her eyes light up at the opportunity to chat about something different yet dear to her. Sometimes actors get excited when they have an opening to not talk about acting or other, higher-paid actors.

At the morning Q&A Perrine mentioned her experience working with Mel Gibson on What Women Want and the tremendous pleasure of pinching his butt. Now 71, she last appeared onscreen in two episodes of FX’s short-lived boxing series Lights Out.

* Sarah Douglas! To us she’s the Kryptonian murderer Ursa from Superman II. After that she guest-starred on dozens of TV shows over the years, of which Anne’s favorite was the sci-fi sequel miniseries V: the Final Battle. When Anne asked her about that, Douglas mentioned she’d had an opportunity to come back later for the V regular series, but that she opted to keep doing Falcon Crest instead. Alas.

She was on Falcon Crest for two seasons before moving on to a variety of guest-star parts. Most recently I saw her in a season-1 episode of Babylon 5, which I’m taking years to creep through on DVD. Now 62, her work of late has been voice-acting for projects such as various Doctor Who video games (an old entry on her blog indicates she’s a bit of a Whovian) and the Green Lantern animated series.

* Jack O’Halloran! The silent, hulking Non from Superman II isn’t nearly as silent in real life. For autographs I’d just bought a photo from some street vendor that appeared to have been taken at some recent charity function. O’Halloran grimaced and didn’t seem too thrilled to see it. It wasn’t till years later that I learned that some actors don’t like signing large copies of unauthorized photos. In hindsight I’m guessing this was one of those times. It’s something we’ve been mindful of ever since.

O’Halloran spent several years as a heavyweight boxer before he switched career tracks to acting. At the Q&A I was sorry to hear O’Halloran had suffered chronic back pains as a result of the excruciating harnesses that were required for flying effects in those times. Hollywood has come a long way since then and possibly saved later actors a lot of medical bills, but that’s little comfort for those who endured more primitive times in big-budget filmmaking. Now 71, O’Halloran still does the occasional podcast interview in which he’s rather candid about the multiple difficulties that came with his most famous role.

* Noel Neill! Not actually a villain. Neill was Lois Lane to George Reeves’ Clark Kent in the old Adventures of Superman TV show, seasons two through six. She was a sweetheart to meet and became like a patron saint to the Superman Celebration, appearing as a guest for several consecutive years, at least as late as our third visit in 2008. Metropolis eventually erected a Lois Lane statue in her honor, a photo of which we posted as part of our Superman Celebration 2012 adventure.

Neill had a cameo in 2006’s Superman Returns but otherwise doesn’t read a lot of scripts these days. At 94 she’s older than Betty White and absolutely entitled to relax now.

* Jeff East! Also not a villain. East appeared for several minutes of Superman: the Movie as the teenage Clark Kent, enjoying the chance to play a young Kryptonian power-leaping for joy, then grieving for his adoptive father’s passing.

Now 57, East has acted intermittently over the decades, but was last seen working as a Midwest real estate agent, though his Facebook profile says he’s since moved to France.

Superman Celebration attendees were given the chance to meet all five guests for autographs and such. The actors were seated inside the Metropolis Chamber of Commerce with plenty of electric fans for company while we energized, flesh-‘n’-blood fans waited in line outside in the cloudless, 90-degree day. We were still young in our traveling fandom and not yet used to such grueling lines. If we’d known, we would’ve brought a cooler of bottled water with us, as we do on our vacations today. Unfortunately for us rookies, the next three hours of our lives were spent in a brick alley roasting and maybe dying a little.

Actual random shot from that alley between Metropolis businesses where we waited our turn behind hundreds of fans who were much better prepared than we were. At one point I think I started pretending or hallucinating that some of the bricks were actually a transformed Metamorpho the Element Man.

As of today I’m technically pleased to report the 2001 Superman Celebration autograph line would later prove not to be the worst line of our entire lives. The current, regrettable record holder was another major geek event due for its own updated write-up another time. Not all the autographs are free today as they were back then, but those sessions are held in much more comfortable indoor environments. If/when you visit, I strongly recommend keeping tabs on their official sites, feeds, and announcements, because today they enforce a timed-ticket system that requires a certain level of planning to navigate and win.

Prior to the autograph line, there was a half-hour Q&A in the big tent out behind the Superman Museum. I’m sure a lot of subjects were covered in such a short time frame, but heck if I recall them now. The important part here was the shade.

At far right in that photo is a speck we failed to photograph separately, the highest-profile comics-related guest: Irwin Donenfeld, son of DC Comics co-founder Harry Donenfeld. In adulthood Irwin held various management and executive positions in the company his dad helped build. If you believe his Wikipedia entry, several legendary creators produced some of the company’s most important works during his tenure, but his three biggest personally attributed contributions were: (1) hiring talented creators; (2) spearheading the initiative to begin saving negatives of all their artwork for future reprints; and (3) decreeing that artists draw more gorillas on their covers. Donenfeld left the company and the entertainment field in 1968 and passed away in 2004.

A review of our records confirms this lone shot from the Q&A is the closest we have to a Superman Celebration cosplay pic. In future years the cosplayer population steadily increased in attendance with each subsequent visit, and expanded to encompass a broader character selection than just Superman suits. The fiery summer weather can make it challenging for some, but we salute those who represent anyway.

To be concluded!

Team Miyazaki: Princess Mononoke, Totoro, and Markl from Howl’s Moving Castle!

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

It’s that time of year again! Anne and I are at Wizard World Chicago in scenic Rosemont, IL, where we’re so far having a blast even though parts of it resemble hard work and our feet feel battle-damaged after two days of endless walking, standing, lining up, shuffling forward in cattle-call formation, and scurrying toward exciting people and things…

My wife and I took an okay number of photos over the course of our three-day stay and will once again be sharing the most usable over the next several entries. Part One kicks off with clusters of themed costumes, because arbitrary categorization helps me organize my thoughts more clearly. I’m not the kind of guy to upload a hundred unlabeled cosplay photos all at once on the go. I’m all about pacing, parceling, staggering, and serializing our experiences for measured reading and perusing. Hence, chapters. Enjoy!

Team Mystery Inc.: the original Scooby Gang! Fred, Velma, Daphne, and Shaggy are backup for a tiny Scooby-Doo.

Team X-Men: Wolverine, X-23, Storm, and Cyclops.

Team Fillion-Whedon! Captain Reynolds, Captain Hammer, Captain Reynolds.

Team Flintstone!

Team Simpsons! Lyle Lanley from the still-awesome monorail episode, Marge, Duff-Man, and Duff Cheerleader.

Team Marvel Netflix! Iron Fist, Jessica Jones a.k.a. Jewel, and traditional Daredevil.

Team Star Wars versus the might of Robert Townsend’s Meteor Man!

Team Mandatory Harley and Ivy! With special guest season-1 Daredevil! (Advance warning: these were the only Harley and the only Ivy we photographed all weekend. More on that in Part 7.)

Team Mario! Princess Peach, Mario, Wario, Dr. Mario, and Waluigi!

Team DC Heroes! Aquaman, Wonder Woman, Batgirl, and the most adorable Flash cosplayer in world history.

To be continued! Other chapters in this special MCC miniseries:

Prologue: Five Shots from Our Convention Weekend in Progress
Part 2: Marvel Cosplay
Part 3: DC vs. Star Wars Cosplay
Part 4: Last Call for Cosplay
Part 5: Actors We Met
Part 6: Cars and Other Objects
Part 7: Why We Convention

Mandatory Bat-villains: Ms. Freeze and the Riddler! Incredibly, we somehow didn’t photograph a single Joker at WWC this year. Not one.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover:

It’s that time of year again! Anne and I are at Wizard World Chicago in scenic Rosemont, IL, where we’re so far having a blast even though parts of it resemble hard work and our feet feel battle-damaged after two days of endless walking, standing, lining up, shuffling forward in cattle-call formation, and scurrying toward exciting people and things…

My wife and I took an okay number of photos over the course of our three-day stay and will once again be sharing the most usable over the next several entries.

With the average con we usually have enough pics for themed entries of a solid size, but our WWC 2015 results turned out so fractionalized across a number of media, companies, and universes that not much else besides Marvel achieved a real consensus. DC and Star Wars each put in a modest showing, but after using up a few of those in Part 1, both universes fell short of supporting their own independent entries. Hence today’s senseless duplex of an entry. Enjoy!

DC first, simply because of numbers:

TV’s the Flash. The show floor was crawling with Arrows and Arsenals, doubtlessly thanks to big-name guest Stephen Amell, but I’m more a fan of DC’s other big show.

The Scarlet Speedster’s heinous arch-nemesis, the Reverse-Flash! I think this was one of the con’s “official” cosplayer guests, but I didn’t catch his name.

Okay, one more Bat-villain, but THAT’S IT. So here’s Catwoman. Happy?

Though the thing that reminds me of a Buffy villain takes up the most space, the relevant star here is a fun one for DC animation fans — Robin as Slade’s apprentice from Teen Titans.

Krypto proves pets can cosplay too. I wasn’t aware the Stephens Center would allow animals on the premises, but we never saw security converging on Krypto’s owner, so I’m making at least one wrong assumption here.

I was a big fan of Milestone Media before Static’s name was forcibly changed to Static Shock, before he got his own animated series, and before DC’s New 52 reboot failed to capture a single thing I liked about the original series by Robert Washington III and John Paul Leon. Nevertheless, I will totally brake for any Static cosplayer anywhere, anytime.

…

…I did promise Star Wars costumes, didn’t I. My wife and I avoided all human Jedi, Vaders, and Stormtroopers on principle, but we found a few less common faces from that galaxy far, far away:

I’m assuming this Sith Lord is from either one of the video games (I’ve played almost none of them) or one of the Dark Horse books we never read. Little help?

Jedi Master Shaak Ti, from the same alien race that brought you Ahsoka Tano!

Even encased in carbonite, that rascally Captain Solo somehow escaped the cargo hold. Possibly his captor Boba Fett was just that terrible at his job.

To be continued! Other chapters in this special MCC miniseries:

Prologue: Five Shots from Our Convention Weekend in Progress
Part 1: Team Cosplay
Part 2: Marvel Cosplay
Part 4: Last Call for Cosplay
Part 5: Actors We Met
Part 6: Cars and Other Objects
Part 7: Why We Convention

DC Comics house ad from The Flash #339, cover-dated November 1984. A lot of ’80s characters are no longer around, and it’s been decades since fans begged DC to bring back “legends” like these.

We live in an entertainment culture where we take it as given that all the best ideas were conceived before we were born, so trying to forge new universes seems like too much effort. Reboots used to be a desperation move, but anymore they’re the norm for luring in new fans — not just for work-for-hire companies with an intellectual property catalog to keep fertile and growing, but for artists, writers, and filmmakers all too happy to make a lifelong career out of perpetuating the lives and histories of worlds and heroes they didn’t invent themselves. It’s a living.

It’s easy to scoff at reboots when they’re happening to characters that don’t matter to you. If you’re a geek for long enough, though, sooner or later they’ll get to a universe you do care about.

I’ve been there. I remember the first time I had a universe yanked out from under me.

In 1985 I was 13 years old and had been following along for seven years, because comics were cheaper than snacks and fit easily into our family’s grocery budget. I glommed onto the Marvel and DC universes in equal measure; for the latter The Flash and The Brave and the Bold were among the first series I collected regularly, back in the days of Barry Allen, Iris’ untimely murder (the first major comics death I ever witnessed, and at such an impressionable age), and the one true Batman in my young eyes as drawn by the great Jim Aparo. Eventually I expanded to other heroes and titles, learning more about DC’s history from the 741.5 section of my local library as well as from their own ongoing comics. I found it easy to keep track of Earth-1 versus Earth-2, between Golden Age and Silver Age, between the JLA and the JSA.

As the ad prefacing this entry shows, DC seemed pretty happy with its results and its diverse lineup. I didn’t collect all the titles shown above, but I found plenty of reasons to buy in.

Less than six months later, fans were put on notice that everything they held dear was about to change forever.

House ad from The Flash #343, March 1985. The original maxiseries’ title and logo were a work in progress, apparently.

I didn’t take them seriously at first. I was young. I wasn’t yet plugged into the meager fanzine culture, not until another six months had passed and my local Waldenbooks began carrying Fantagraphics’ Amazing Heroes. The first issue I saw had a cover story all about Crisis on Infinite Earths, the milestone event that would save or toss out fifty years of comics continuity as they saw fit, combine all their multiple Earths into a single DC Earth, start over from scratch, provide a company-wide entry point for new readers, and redefine their entire fictional milieu for a new generation of readers.

I wasn’t thrilled, especially not by the deaths of dozens of characters great and small throughout the series and the official Crisis Crossovers happening over in all the other DC books. Even as a lowly ragamuffin I thought it was a shame to see so much legacy relegated to the forgotten bins of ex-history. While Crisis was in the middle of its twelve-issue run, I discovered the wonder of my first local comic shop, the secret joy of direct-sales comics, and The Comics Buyer’s Guide, another publication about comics like Amazing Heroes, except weekly instead of biweekly, in a larger newspaper format, and, as I recall, filled with letters and comments from fans two or three times my age who were absolutely livid about all of this. I don’t have those issues at hand anymore, but many were the speeches about the indignities of childhood heroes whose sagas would no longer continue uninterrupted like soap operas, who would see their original timelines come to definitive stopping points and their stars regress to Day One to relive all the same triumphs and tragedies over again, or to potentially have to endure inferior, stupider, awful ones guided by the hands of greedy whippersnappers who care only about the bottom line and just want new moneys from new customers.

It was a rough introduction to the corporate world, to a completely different dimension from our own fanboy bubbles, where professionals in suits expect increasing profits every year, not just flatlined returns year-in-year-out. Where the key to beating inflation, growing as a company, and maybe handing out occasional raises isn’t to depend on the exact same customer base to hand over the exact same dollar amounts over and over and over and over again. Where sooner or later the reality of maintaining a successful product line is to retain customers to an extent where possible and to keep actively courting new clientele to replenish and surpass the attrition of the old.

I mean, I didn’t realize all of that at age 13. It took a while to get it.

House ad from The Flash #344, April 1985, now featuring the official Crisis on Infinite Earths logo and most of George Perez’ amazing wraparound cover to the first issue. My scan of thirty-year-old newsprint doesn’t do Perez justice, obv.

Sure, I lamented losing some of the pre-Crisis concepts. Batman’s fun team-ups in The Brave and the Bold as well as Superman’s own in DC Comics Presents. The original SHAZAM!/Captain Marvel (acquired from the late Fawcett Comics) and what little flair he’d retained from C.C. Beck and Otto Binder’s original, whimsical tales (I’d found a few in some books for comparison). The Legion of Super-Heroes before Byrne’s deletion of Superboy muddled their entire team origin. But there were pre-Crisis things I didn’t miss, too. Both Superman and Action Comics had turned into aimless anthologies. Barry Allen’s depressing ordeal after killing Professor Zoom had dragged on for two-and-a-half years with no hope in sight. I was a little relieved to see those axed, to be honest.

And, granted, not everything in the post-Crisis DC universe worked. Some folks were less impressed with John Byrne’s Superman than I was. Hawkman was a butchered mess with multiple backstories that took years to vet and reconcile. The addition of drunk driving to Hal Jordan’s origin was a questionable move. The new “street-level” Jason Todd was more irritating than a cloud of mosquitoes.

But the next twenty-five years also saw a lot of astounding, unforgettable work in the all-new all-different DC universe. Perez’ revamp of Wonder Woman. Wally West’s long reign as the new Flash after Barry Allen’s death in COIE #8. The Giffen/DeMatteis/Maguire sitcom-like Justice League. Denny O’Neil and Denys Cowan on the Question. Cary Bates, Greg Weisman, and Pat Broderick on Captain Atom. Roy Thomas’ Infinity Inc. adjusting to super-heroing without their dead or retconned Golden Age super-parents, while enjoying the radically different art of a young Todd McFarlane. Miller and Mazzucchelli’s “Batman: Year One”. New Bat-villains over time like the Ventriloquist, Azrael, and Bane. Tim Drake as a Robin competent enough to headline his own series. James Robinson and Tony Harris on Starman.

I’m skipping around a lot, but you get the idea. Crisis on Infinite Earths saw a lot of concepts retired and never brought back again. It saw a lot of concepts revived and retooled into worthy works. It paved the way for a lot of brand new heroes, villains, and antiheroes to join the stage and make their individual marks in the annals of DC Comics. Crisis most certainly did not mean we would never, ever, ever have good DC Comics ever again.

I’m sure I went through the five stages of grief in my own way. And then I came out the other side and enjoyed the ride.

In 2011, here they went again. DC’s “New 52” initiative did the exact same in a more thorough, sweeping manner. All titles were canceled, the 1986-2011 DC universe came to a close (except the Bat-parts Grant Morrison had borrowed, and maybe some impenetrable Green Lantern leftovers), and another all-new all-different DC Universe began afresh for still another generation of potential new customers. Of the fifty-two new titles I tried something like eighteen or twenty of them. By the end of Year 1 I was down to less than a handful because I got the impression I wasn’t their primary target anymore. I understood, complied, and found other uses for my money. Today my monthly DC list comprises Prez and Batman ’66.

For a while it kind of sucked. I was miffed at first as DC and I grew apart, but then I realized it was for the best. I type this today with neither rage nor contempt. I’m in my 40s. I have myriad other things on my plate, from other fictional universes to non-superhero comics to non-comics-reading to non-print hobbies to fellow living humans to adult responsibilities, and so on. I’m not out of things to do, and my life doesn’t seem to be a meaningless shambles without a monthly fix of Serious Aquaman.

The characters who live in the DC Comics Universe aren’t my family or my idols. They’re the puppets of a corporation that can use, disuse, refurbish, leave alone, or destroy as they see fit. Their heroes are not my gods. If there are other hands directing their actions from behind the curtains, they’re not gods. That means it’s okay to walk away from them.

In all my stages of coming to terms with their justifiably capitalist behavior, with this two-time shattering of the foundations of one of the many universes I liked, not once did it ever occur to me that maybe DC would bring back all my favorite DC stuff and cater to me, and only to me personally, no matter how much business sense it would totally lack, if only I would renounce personal morality and start pushing lots of people around until DC collectively surrenders and gives me what I want. Not once.

But that’s just me.

That brings me to another universe.

This is my wife’s collection of Star Wars Expanded Universe books. Almost all of them, anyway. The comics and graphic novels are in another bookcase in another room, but they’re a smaller set because she’s less completist about those.

She’s read them all, more than once. Out of pure fun and enjoyment, for the Star Wars message board we call home, she’s spent the last nine years writing her own coverage of each and every Expanded Universe novel that’s one part SparkNotes and one part Nitpicker’s Guide. She has dozens of novels she hasn’t posted about yet, but literally years’ worth of chapter summaries she’s written in advance for posting, one per day, until she’s someday caught ’em all. After our hard drive crashed in July, she had to retrieve many portions of those advance writings from emails she’d sent back and forth between work and home as she’d added to them during downtime. What she couldn’t recover that way, she’s having to rewrite from scratch, hoping she can recapture the same plot points, questions, and Easter eggs she’d noted the first time around.

And that’s not even talking about what the movies mean to her. It’s safe to say she’s a big Star Wars fan and has a vested interest in the Expanded Universe.

It’s also safe to say when Lucasfilm announced in 2014 that they were rebooting the entire SW prose universe, Anne wasn’t thrilled. Her reaction was, quoted here word for word, “Well, that sucks.”

When George Lucas sold his precious moneymaking babies to Disney, when The Force Awakens was announced, and when every division of the Lucasfilm empire began buzzing with new life, she knew a line-wide reboot was one possibility. She also knew she had no control over it. She was bummed for a while, and, as she summed it up to me just now after waking up for a few random minutes in the middle of the night, “I’m sorry that it happened…in some cases.”

But I know what she’s going through. I’ve been there. More than once, and with a much older universe. I’ve shared my experiences with her. I like to think it helped put things in perspective, though she still had a few bummer days to let the news sink in.

In discussions like these, we hear the inevitable nutshell about how those old stories haven’t been erased and how they’re perfectly intact on our bookshelves where she can still read them anytime. That’s not the point. The part that hurts most is when you realize the company that once considered you its target audience has decided you’re not so much anymore and is moving on to captivating your successors instead, for its own good from a commercial perspective.

When you think that you and a company have a quote-unquote “understanding”, it’s never fun when they pull rank and dispel the notion. It’s a form of rejection. And some people take rejection better than others. Some can’t handle rejection. At all.

Some write angry letters. Some now take to social media and contact the responsible parties. Some flood said parties with messages endlessly for days and weeks on end without regard for decorum, manners, civility, or other traits that make human interaction a desirable experience. Some attend conventions and all but bully other fans into joining their hivemind, so that theoretically all shall rise up as a single, entitled mob and demand the large corporation go back to catering to them Or Else, no matter how much business sense it would totally lack.

Thankfully for me I married a wonderfully level-headed woman who has no use for such movements.

She’ll miss plenty about the old Expanded Universe — the Republic Commandos, the Han Solo Trilogy, Corran Horn, Rogue and Wraith Squadrons, Jagged Fel, Grand Admiral Pellaeon, Anakin Solo in the New Jedi Order, and anything written by Jude Watson. She’d be fine with more of those. For now, there’s not. She soldiers on.

The EU also gave her plenty she won’t miss and wishes she could erase from our timeline: The Black Fleet Crisis, the Jedi Academy Trilogy, the Lando Calrissian Trilogy, Callista, Jacen Solo walking straight into the Dark Side with his eyes wide open, The Crystal Star, Luke Skywalker’s wishy-washiness as a supposed Jedi Master, every strong woman turning into an idiot when she becomes a wife and mother…

…and then I realized Oh, no, I got her started! as she kept trying to go on and on for several minutes with more detailed examples from specific scenes, books, and series where assorted authors went off-track and failed at bookmaking. When her bullet points threatened to become paragraphs I had to call time-out and invited her to write up a separate “1000 Worst EU Moments Ever” entry of her own sometime, because I’m not sure I would be the best stenographer for that. Updates as they occur.

At this point she hasn’t read any of the new stuff beyond A New Dawn, the prequel to the Rebels animated series. EU books haven’t been a week-of-release must-buy for her for a long time now. At this point it’s too ridiculously early to gauge the EU reboot as a success or failure based on the scant evidence and the fact that we’re barely months into this new universe and there’s a little movie on the way to shake things up even more. Anne remains open to the possibility that The Force Awakens may be watchable, possibly even above-average. And in my eyes she’s weathering the transition with an enviable grace and dignity.

And who knows? Maybe a lot of EU concepts will stay retired and never brought back again. Maybe a lot of concepts will be revived and retooled into worthy works. Maybe the reboot will pave the way for a lot of brand new heroes, villains, and action figures to join the stage and make their marks in the annals of the post-Lucas galaxy far, far away.

And regardless of whether you love or hate Chuck Wendig’s Aftermath, it most certainly does not mean we’ll never, ever, ever have good Star Wars books ever again.

The Wonder Woman MEGO figure was the perfect compromise: too tall for an action figure, too prone to punching for a Barbie doll.

Fans of Star Wars: The Force Awakens have been up in arms the past two months over the complete lack of a dedicated action figure based on Rey, even though she’s the movie’s main character, arguably its most interesting new hero, and quite possibly a powerful descendant of one of the series’ most famous faces. While Hasbro has given Rey a one-way ticket to the Island of Misfit Toys, all the major male characters boast their own figures and multi-packs and variants and prominent roles in numerous other Star Wars toy assortments and games.

Online protesters suspected the executives at Hasbro were just being big fat sexist jerks, but their rage has been further fueled by an interview published Wednesday with an alleged Lucasfilm insider who claims The Powers That Be mandated that Rey specifically be denied an action figure because girl. Fans of Daisy Ridley’s amazing performance are unhappier than ever and demand Rey figures and justice now, in that order. Hasbro, who have yet to reveal the exact location of the landfill where they deposited seven years’ worth of unsold Padme in Immobile Ballroom Gown figures, could not be reached for comment.

While Hasbro squirms and harrumphs in its Rhode Island lair, we here at Midlife Crisis Crossover are betting that somewhere in California, the folks at Mattel are watching the debacle, taking notes, and adjusting their own plans for the eventual toys that we presume will coincide with the 2017 release of the first Wonder Woman theatrical film in world history. Of course there’ll be action figures! If you have a super-hero toy license, it’s what you do!

We’ve consulted our greatest prognosticating minds and our own secret anonymous sources, and have assembled our definitive predictions for the complete release schedule of the Wonder Woman action figure line, broken down by the waves to be released every 4-6 weeks as demand ramps up and the collectors beg for more. We’re thinking 2017 will be a very good year for DC Comics toy manufacturers and the boys who love them.

WAVE 1:
Steve Trevor
Male villain
Henchman
Zeus
Guy version of Etta Candy
Superman

WAVE 2:
Aquaman
Ares
Hitler
Battle-Damaged Steve Trevor
Henchman in snow gear
Batman figure #1,000,000

WAVE 3:
Robin
Evil hacker dude
General Sam Lane
Stealth-Action Steve Trevor with camouflage cap and wooden crate
Henchman with skateboard and extreme-sports bodysuit
Wonder Woman’s gay next-door neighbor

WAVE 4:
Hercules
Blue Beetle
Hall of Justice Janitor
Steve Trevor in Battle Armor
Henchman in Battle Armor
Male villain with giant weapon he never uses in the movie, and also Battle Armor

WAVE 5:
Perseus
Aqualad
Steve Trevor disguised as Batman
Lex Luthor in Andy Warhol costume
Clark Kent in Battle Armor
Limited edition Henchman with Zack Snyder’s face

WAVE 6:
Bizarro Steve Trevor
Alfred
Hades
Zan from the Wonder Twins
Men’s Rights Activist in Battle Armor
Nameless bartender who has one scene, played by Kevin Smith

WAVE 7:
Doomsday
Odysseus
Guy version of the Cheetah
Beach Attack Steve Trevor in swim trunks
Batman in Wonder Woman-themed costume
President of the United States, played by venerated Best Actor Oscar winner, in Battle Armor

WAVE 8:
King Tut
Krypto the Super-Dog
Classic orange-shirt Aquaman
Zombie Hitler
Steve Trevor in super-costume with cape and laser blaster
Wonder Woman in androgynous head-to-toe imitation-HALO Armor (tentative at press time)

…and you can bet there’s more to come! Keep your eyes on the action figure aisle for future releases, guys!

Oh, and if any girls are interested, we hear they’re about 30% of the way into designing a new Wonder Woman video game for the Nintendo DS. It’ll be a puzzle-based game that unlocks new outfits for Diana and her lady-friends as you go. That’s cool, right?

All-new all-different Scooby-Doo art by DC Comics VP Jim Lee. To the EXTREME.

Just when you thought entertainment corporations had cooled down on the idea of rebooting their property catalogs, along comes a day like today to remind you to stop overestimating entertainment corporations. This morning Entertainment Weekly reported Hanna-Barbera has struck a deal with DC Comics — that bastion of work-for-hire literary integrity — to jump-start some of its most well-known characters as 21st-century comics for a new generation who doesn’t know them and/or an old generation that will shell out money for any repackaged remnants of their childhood.

The article linked above includes teaser images from DC’s planned reboots of Scooby-Doo (now with weapons and tattoos!), the Flintstones (realistic proportions + painful Stone Age puns = PROFIT), Space Ghost and Brak (no more Adult Swim irony, natch), and more. (Jonny Quest’s cast looks surprisingly unchanged, but we’ll see what happens after half of them are killed in the first issue.) The official press release offers additional details omitted from the EW summation, including the part where the Scooby Gang will be fighting nanites, which are now officially Over if they weren’t already. (Trivia undisclosed in the article: DC, Hanna-Barbera, and EW share the same giant parent company.)

It didn’t take long for Twitter to burst into laughter and kick off another round of reboot jokes. Within the first thirty seconds after I caught the news, I next saw other users lining up to brainstorm concepts for a grim-‘n’-gritty Yogi Bear, scoffing about a Jabberjaw revival, hoping Mighty Man and Yukk were up for grabs, and so on. By the time I got home after a long work day and in a better position to interact, I didn’t even bother checking Twitter because I assumed all the best jokes and obvious intellectual properties were spoken for, and my late contributions would be tired and redundant. What’s a sarcastic guy to do?

To an extent I’m fine with opting out this round. I’ve done more than my share of reboot jokes in times past. Longtime MCC readers may remember previous entries in that vein:

* My detailed overview of a young-adult series based on Disney’s Cinderella called “The Cinder-Earth Trilogy”, written over two years before I learned Disney themselves had a live-action reboot in the works. I’ve yet to watch it because I don’t want to know how many of my genius ideas they refused to steal.

* My list of suggestions for overhauling various old Star Trek villains, written during the short time frame when we believed JJ Abrams when he said Benedict Cumberbatch was totally playing not-Khan.

* The synopsis of what could be my first summer blockbuster extravaganza, E.T.: The Epic Traveler, which turns Steven Spielberg’s tiny leather gargoyle and Drew Barrymore’s precious urchin into a total ripoff of Edward and Bella.

* Capsule descriptions of the first thirteen episodes of The CW’s Snowman: the Series, my visionary reimagining of Frosty the Snowman that would be like Smallville on Red Bull Sugarfree.

* My predictions for the very real Teletubbies reboot. I’m pretty sure my version is better than what we actually got.

I could probably turn “MCC Reboots!” into a regular feature without really trying, but I’d rather not. On the drive home from work, I found myself — against my will, mind you — outlining a multi-season arc for a potential relaunch of Barney the Dinosaur that cruelly shuns his preschool fan base and appropriates the character for the TV-14 audience that grew up on him but are afraid to admit they miss him and need him back in their lives. Tentative story arcs so far:

Season 1: Barney travels to our time, takes a full 22 episodes to learn that he should stop murdering children.
Season 2: Slowly learns English from a high school in which no two kids belong to the same minority. The season’s Big Bad: some greedy old big-game-hunting white guy.
Season 3: Learns colors, shapes, numbers, and what “fruits” and “vegetables” are. Big Bad: his larger, hungrier father.
Season 4: Picks up singing; catches on quickly thanks to special guests who used to be on Glee. Has advanced surgery on his arms so his hands can finally reach each other and clap. Big Bad revamped from the old show: that annoying blond kid Michael who always looked ten years too old to be into Barney.

…you get the idea. I even mocked up sample concept art for All-New All-Different Barney using a coloring book page and as much MS Paint as I could throw at it before I got bored within minutes.

Cel shading easily on par with half of Cartoon Network’s current lineup.

Alas, news sites last fall insisted Barney is indeed up for a reboot circa 2017 because youngsters need their sincere dinosaur singalongs. I think we’re reaching a point where Hollywood can reboot all the media characters faster than we can crank out the wonder-who’s-next! quips. Unless we’re content to recycle the same silly what-ifs for the same ten cartoons over and over and over again, those of us who like to blaze their own comedy trail have no choice but to scrape the bottom of the barrel.

Fortunately I found a pair of pop-culture losers that time forgot. Meet Calvin and the Colonel.

The cover of Dell’s Four-Color Comics #1354, cover-dated April-June 1962. My 2006 Overstreet guide priced mint condition copies at $130.00. Mine’s not mint, but this is probably worth, like, fifty grand today, right?

I picked this up in a Mooresville antique store in 2013 when my wife and I were driving around southern Indiana for her 2013 birthday. (I posted pics from our tour of Martinsville, but not the Mooresville stopover.) I found this in a box with other oddities like Jeff Nicholson’s Ultra Klutz and a forgotten old Warren Ellis project called Ruins. It’s now officially the oldest comic I own, and I had to buy it because I knew Dell Comics used to be the kings of making comics based on cartoons, but I had absolutely no idea who these strangers were. The mystery was too tantalizing to abandon.

Some light research uncovered their short-lived history. Just as the Flintstones were cloned from The Honeymooners, Calvin and the Colonel — a dumb bear and a crafty weasel — were basically furry versions of Amos and Andy. If you know TV history, you’ll know that’s not a team that would play well today (as Nicolas Cage and Samuel L. Jackson found out to everyone’s regret). In 1961 someone thought it was good enough to kill airtime for twenty-six episodes before they came to their senses. You can follow the link for a sample on YouTube (complete with value-added ’60s laugh track and vintage commercials intact as palate-cleansers between segments), or you can pretend to enjoy this excerpt from the comic.

As was the standard of the day, the comic contains no credits for writer or artist. I’m not holding my breath waiting for them to step forward and confess.

A quick search for “Calvin and the Colonel reboot” yields no relevant results, thereby making this very entry the definitive internet hot-spot for anyone weird enough in the future to look for “Calvin and the Colonel reboot”. I’ve done it! I’ve found undiscovered country! I could be a reboot-joke pioneer, if only I could think of a single new joke to go with this!

…

…

…

…honestly, I got nearly nothing. All that comes to mind is reframing this dire duo in a dark, violent rehash in which Calvin is an actual ferocious grizzly; the Colonel is a short, weaselly, angry guy who dresses in a lot of fancy furs and thinks he’s the smartest guy in the room; and the whole series is the two of them fighting and fighting and fighting. Then I realized even that reboot has already been done and it was called The Revenant, except for some reason they left Calvin out of too much of the running time. And in this politically divisive era, I’m at a loss how you’d preserve the artistic integrity of those atrocious plantation accents. For once, the bottom of the barrel has failed to give me what I need.

So I guess it’s back to the internet-humor drawing board for me. Maybe I can crank out a 1500-word reboot lampoon based on the Book of Habbakuk, unless SNL already called dibs.

After 37 years of collecting, 2015 was the year I first bought more than two Archie comics in a row. From the new Archie #1; art by Fiona Staples and Andre Szymanowicz.

Comics collecting has been my primary geek interest since age 6, but I have a tough time writing about it with any regularity. My criteria can seem weird and unfair to other fans who don’t share them. I like discussing them if asked, which is rare, but I loathe debating them. It doesn’t help that I skip most crossovers and tend to gravitate toward titles with smaller audiences, which means whenever companies need to save a buck, my favorites are usually the first ones culled. I doubt many comics readers follow MCC anyway, so it’s the perfect place to talk about comics all to myself. Whee.

Anyway: time again for another list of lists with comics in them!

Favorite comics from 2015, in random order:

* Archie / Jughead: No, really! After a changing of the editorial guard, the survivors at Archie Comics HQ tossed dollar bills at Mark Waid, Chip Zdarsky, Fiona Staples, and Erica Henderson and hoped they’d go make the greatest Archie comics of all time. Gone are the ancient gag strips, the decades-old model sheets, the forgettable single-issue trifles; in their places are sharp wits, updated appearances, nuanced color tones, pop culture references that didn’t belong to your grandparents, and a cast of rebooted characters that remain true to the core of the originals, and who, despite their snark, every so often evince genuine affection for each other. The burger-addicted Jughead in particular has received a new lease on life and turned into the kind of breakout character who ought to be conquering other media any second now.

* Silver Surfer: Dan Slott and Michael Allred’s loving, unabashed homage to Doctor Who featured one of my two favorite comics moments of the year when he introduced his companion Dawn Greenwood to his former boss Galactus. Fighting once again to save billions of lives and stop his old master’s epic bingeing, this time he had the backing of a most unusual crowd: a planet populated entirely by refugees from other worlds previously consumed by Galactus. They’re not just a bunch of survivors; they’re a population who know what it means to sacrifice. Their collective, defiant stand was a rare moment of super-heroic inspiration. I could totally imagine a triumphant Who orchestra power-chording in the background.

* Manifest Destiny: That other great comics moment fell on the other end of the ol’ morality scale. Lewis and Clark continue leading their men through the secretly creature-filled lands west of the Mississippi and find themselves teaming up with a race of cute, feathery, silly, bitey, angry predatory bird-dwarves against an even bigger, angrier, grosser threat. “The enemy of my enemy of is my friend” only takes their truce so far before the end of the arc starkly reminds us Lewis and Clark aren’t crusading paladins: they’re government men on a mission from the President himself, and all the priorities the title of this book entails. As created by Chris Dingess, one of the showrunners on Marvel’s Agent Carter, and as brought to life through the rustic, sometimes bloodied palettes of artists Matthew Roberts and Owen Gieni, the undiscovered country was a terrifying place where Man fought hard for his place at the table with all the other monsters, and then planted his flag in the table.

* The Vision: Marvel’s strangest Avengers-related series in years was nowhere near my radar till I picked up #1 on a lark at a rundown Colorado comics shop (sort of a pity-purchase, to be honest), and now I refuse to put it down. After enduring one mega-crossover event too many, not to mention his big movie debut, the Android Avenger decides he needs more in life and moves to suburbia into a nice home with a wife and two kids who are androids that look like him, but possess their own distinctive, dysfunctional personalities. Fitting in with new neighbors and friends is hard enough when a normal family moves, but when your clan can turn diamond-hard and still hasn’t worked out all the kinks in their emotional subroutines, you’ll need more than Leave It to Beaver lectures to navigate the life lessons, the petty bickering, the troubles at school, and the one troublesome murder Dad doesn’t know about yet. Tom King and Gabriel Hernandez Walta are staging an all-robot production of Picket Fences and it’s all kinds of messed-up.

* We Can Never Go Home: Upstart publisher Black Mask Studios first got my attention when we met co-writer Matthew Rosenberg at last year’s C2E2, where I bought the first issue of this stunning surprise. Two mismatched teenagers find themselves on the run in the worst way. She’s a popular girl who’s just learned she has super-strength; he’s an angry loner who claims he can kill people just by thinking really hard. Maybe it’s a premise worthy of a direct-to-video drama, but the tension and bonding between the duo are equal parts reality-grounded and unpredictable. This received very little distribution and required me to go to weird lengths to track down all five issues (one was at an itsy-bitsy hideaway shop in Terre Haute), but it was worth the hunt.

* Doctor Who: The Four Doctors: Sure, “Day of the Doctor” was one of the best of the Doctor Who TV specials, but it only had two doctors. Writer/superfan Paul Cornell (whose “Father’s Day” remains my favorite episode) and artist Neil Edwards had the privilege of adding Peter Capaldi and John Hurt’s War Doctor to the mix, plus a pair of comics-exclusive companions who might mean more to me if I were reading any other Who titles. I’m finicky about my licensed non-canon reading, but “The Four Doctors” was my idea of the perfect comics crossover, in that I only had to buy five (5) issues to read an entire satisfying story from beginning to end.

* Unbeatable Squirrel Girl: I loved it so much, I already wrote about it at length. Not even a post-Secret Wars forced restart has slowed her down, as the time-travel machinations of some form of Doctor Doom have proven no match for her, her plucky pals, or those value-added gutter captions hiding at the bottom of most pages. I SEE YOU DOWN THERE.

* Wild’s End: The Enemy Within: The sequel to Dan Abnett and L.J.N. Culbard’s wonderful, frightful miniseries (one of 2014’s best) in which The Wind in the Willows meets The War of the Worlds adds an unhelpful British government and an even more unhelpful science fiction writer, none of whom get it and are making things worse for our ex-military dog hero, the strong cat character, the increasingly more courageous piglet, and the craftiest drunken Cockney fox in all of fiction. I was so invested in this, I actually gasped aloud at the end of the most recent issue. And grown men do not simply gasp at just anything.

2015 honorable mentions: Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 10 (Christos Gage remains my fave Buffyverse comics writer); Daredevil (Mark Waid and Chris Samnee exiting their long run on a high note); Injection (Warren Ellis fantasy/sci-fi weirdness reuniting him with Declan Shalvey, fast becoming a must-buy artist); We Stand on Guard (what if future America invaded Canada to take over all its clean water? Answer: things get ugly).

Lewis and Clark meet new indigenous lifeforms in Manifest Destiny #15. Art by Matthew Roberts and Owen Gieni.

Special awards for books that nailed deadlines and held my interest all year long: The Virginia Romita Traffic Management Awards for books that saw twelve new issues in print and on my receipts in 2015:

Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 10
Angel & Faith
Star Wars
Star Wars: Darth Vader
Astro City
Batman ’66

Highly commended series that got my money for eleven issues in 2015, despite crossovers and unnecessary restarts:

Groo: Friends and Foes
Ms. Marvel
S.H.I.E.L.D.
Unbeatable Squirrel Girl

Series that were canceled or ended as planned:
Alex & Ada
Batman ’66
Moon Knight
SHIELD
The Unwritten Apocalypse

Titles I either dropped, or tried once but opted out:
All-New Hawkeye (really tired of dumped-upon loser Hawkeye)
All-Star Section Eight
Bizarro
Black Magick
Captain Marvel (her previous outer-space cast weren’t doing anything for me)
Deadpool
Doctor Who: The Ninth Doctor
Drax
Hulk
Invincible Iron Man (liked it till they announced a second series to go with it, and probably crossovers)
Kaptara
Monstress
Moon Girl & Devil Dinosaur
PastAways
Siege
Suiciders
Survivors Club
Totally Awesome Hulk
Twilight Children (might work better as a collected trade)
Where Monsters Dwell
The Wicked & the Divine (I stopped remembering characters’ names, always my first sign of growing disinterest)
Wytches

Wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey cosmic-wozmic stuff from Silver Surfer #13. Art by Michael and Laura Allred.

And that’s kind of an overview of my 2015 comics highlights. For reference and maybe unconscious oblique insight, here’s what I’m currently buying every Wednesday at my local comic shop, budget permitting, broken down by publisher:

Marvel Comics:
Captain Marvel
Daredevil
Doctor Strange
Hercules
Howard the Duck
Karnak
Ms. Marvel
Silver Surfer
Star Wars
Star Wars: Darth Vader
Star Wars: Kanan
Star Wars: Obi-Wan & Anakin
Unbeatable Squirrel Girl
The Vision

DC Comics and DC/Vertigo:
Astro City
Batman ’66 Meets the Man from U.N.C.L.E.
Prez (assuming they deliver the other six issues we were promised)
The Sheriff of Babylon (another Tom King project, another unique winner)
Superman: American Alien (short stories by Chronicle‘s Max Landis, given a lot of leeway)

Dark Horse Comics:
Angel & Faith
Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season 10
Fight Club 2 (hoping this begins to make unified sense any minute now)

Image Comics:
The Autumnlands
Copperhead (though it’s a bad sign that the artist has announced another gig…)
Descender
The Dying & the Dead
Injection
Invisible Republic
Lazarus
Manhattan Projects: The Sun Beyond the Stars
Manifest Destiny
No Mercy
Nonplayer (one issue published this year! Call it a comeback!)
Paper Girls
Plutona
Rumble
Starve (about a scary post-apocalyptic cooking show? yep, I’m in)

Other publishers:
Archie
Empire Uprising (…or is this dead?)
James Bond 007: Vargr (Warren Ellis bringing back the meaner Bond from the novels)
Jughead
Strange Fruit
Wild’s End: The Enemy Within (but with only one issue to go, here’s hoping more are in store…)

1959 PSA commissioned by DC Comics editor Jack Schiff. Artist not credited.

Last month a dead holiday went and passed us by for thirtieth time in a row, and we all missed it. Shame on us. SHAME.

But are we worthy enough to celebrate it? Take the vintage quiz and check your own tolerance levels. Well, not you cabbage lovers. You people are monsters.

I’m currently reading through an oversize tome called The DC Vault, a hardcover history of DC Comics that comes with a variety of tangible extras. Pictured above is one of several public service announcements published during those troubled decades when Americans didn’t get along well with each other and needed opportunities to figure out how this “getting along” concept worked. DC decided some people needed practical advice and tackled the matter head-on. This sudden attempt at cutting-edge relevance came several years before Green Lantern/Green Arrow tackled racism and drug abuse, before Wonder Woman found “Women’s Lib”, and before Brother Power the Geek taught comic readers that a rag-doll hippie could be their savior if they could imagine there’s no dignity.

National Brotherhood Week wasn’t DC’s idea. During the third week of every February from 1934 till sometime during the 1980s, people of all imaginable subdivisions were supposed to try to find ways to mend fences, cross bridges, and think of America as one big team rather than one unruly sport comprising dozens of teams of hypercompetitive hooligans. NBW was the product of the “National Conference of Christians and Jews”, which began in 1927 as a sort of interdenominational coalition combating the burgeoning peril that was anti-Catholic prejudice. Over time the conference expanded to cover multiple demographics with ideas for harmonic coexistence in a melting-pot country. To reflect that broader reach they later rechristened themselves the National Conference for Community and Justice, focusing on basic shareable concepts rather than spotlight two groups among the myriad.

I wasn’t around in those early days, and have no memories of local celebrations during my childhood. Perhaps there was a National Brotherhood Week parade on Times Square the week after Valentine’s Day. Maybe Hallmark sold “Happy National Brotherhood Week!” cards with children in all the colors of the rainbow and all the hats of the haberdashery. Maybe furniture stores held National Brotherhood Week mattress sales with free sheet sets in the multicolored pattern of your choice. Maybe there was a Peanuts special called It’s National Brotherhood Week, So Get Over Yourself, Charlie Brown starring Franklin, Frieda, Snoopy’s brother Spike, and special guests Ben Vereen and Charo.

Despite whatever parties went on before my time, all the hoopla eventually faded away. Maybe they thought they’d cured all the bigotries ever. Maybe bad winter weather kept ruining everyone’s plans and spoiled the holiday mood. Maybe the inventors of Presidents’ Day annexed it and forgot to mention it. Or maybe we got bored trying to smile at each other for a whole week and decided it was more fun to factionalize, form isolationist cliques, view all others as The Enemy, and forget the point of the whole “more perfect union” concept. Like maybe the Civil War deserved a reboot and the key to getting us-vs.-us warfare right this time was to divide everyone into smaller, more manageable franchises.

Whatever the cause, National Brotherhood Week evaporated, only to be revisited from time to time by lone news sources accidentally stumbling across it (Exhibit A, Exhibit B), chuckling about it, appreciating the only National Brotherhood Week carol ever written by Tom Lehrer, and then dropping it and moving on to cover whatever next major turmoil was dividing and conquering Americans that week. If past Presidents or charity organizations had tried to keep its spirit alive against the odds, who knows if it would’ve helped, if it would’ve been renamed National Siblinghood Week to stave off microaggression accusations, or if observing it would’ve become such a rote chore that The Purge would’ve had to be invented to bring balance to the national mood.

Regardless, I like to imagine National Brotherhood Week was nice while it lasted. Good luck trying to jump-start anything like it today. But hey, points to Silver Age DC Comics for doing their part, in their own quasi-contemporary way, to set up a teachable moment about non-hate in their time. If just one young boy or girl at home took that quiz, rethought their entire life, and vowed ever after to be kinder to alligators, it was all worth it.

Finally, two guests who showed US how jazz hands are done.

Defying all expectations, Supergirl has become must-see TV in our house. I’ve yet to write about it here, but Twitter followers are (hopefully) used to me live-tweeting it on Mondays for fun and more fun. (I think most of the I’ll-follow-you-if-you-follow-me-and-also-please-buy-all-my-ebooks crowd already Muted me seconds after I followed them back anyway, so I may not be bothering as many people as I think.) The show has its occasional silly moments and head-scratching choices (many of them Maxwell Lord’s fault), but Kara, Alex, James, Hank/J’onn, MVP Cat Grant, and, yes, even Winn are a welcome sight to us.

Last year Anne and I discussed the notion of no longer considering any conventions an automatic buy-in until and unless the guest list gave us a solid reason to commit. C2E2’s early guest announcements for 2016 were okay, one of them pretty great. (We’ll get to him in a later entry.) Then they added special guests Melissa Benoist, the greatest Supergirl of all time, and former Grey’s Anatomy costar Chyler Leigh, who plays her adopted sister Alex. They sealed the deal for us.

Behold above the newest addition to our ongoing jazz-hands photo-op collection. Even after posing for pics with the hundreds of fans in front of us, their unstoppable enthusiasm bowled us over and won the con and the photo.

If you asked me to summarize our Saturday experience at C2E2, the answer is Supergirl. The dual photo op came later in the afternoon, but when security opened the floodgates and let all several thousand fans inside the show floor promptly at 10 a.m., we made a beeline for Benoist’s autograph line. She was supposed to arrive and begin signing at 10:30, but circumstances (Chicago road construction, probably) delayed her arrival till closer to 11:30. We were in the front half of the line and took about an hour to wind through, say hi, and be all dazzled at how she looked exactly like she does on TV, except no cape or glasses. From there we skipped immediately to the next line for an additional 15-minute wait for Chyler Leigh’s autograph as well. Also awesome in every respect.

The photo-op came later in the afternoon. In between the two came the Q&A on the C2E2 Main Stage. Our special host for the hour: Clare Kramer, best known as the evil goddess Glory from Buffy season 5.

We met Clare Kramer at Wizard World Chicago 2011, but failed to get a photo of her at the time. That oversight is now technically rectified.

Fun trivia and moments from throughout the talk:

* They’re pronounced Melissa Ben-OYST and KYler Leigh.

* Supergirl’s costume was designed by three-time Academy Award Winner Colleen Atwood (Chicago, Memoirs of a Geisha, Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland). It was the only super-design Benoist ever had to try on.

* Neither had read the comics prior to winning their parts. Benoist immersed herself in the comics afterward, starting with the New 52 and then working backward.

* Each episode takes eleven days to make, plus another three for visual effects and post-production.

* The hardest parts are when their characters have to be mean to each other, such as when Alex had to rescue Kara from her dream Krypton in “For the Girl Who Has Everything”, or in last Monday’s Red-K episode “Falling”. They get along great, which made Bad Kara scenes all the more challenging.

* The March 20th crossover guest-starring The Flash was, naturally, fun to film. Regarding Grant Gustin, Benoist confirms, “He was pretty jealous of my cape.”

* Benoist is a fan of Star Wars and Kingdom Hearts, and believes the Sorting Hat would put her in Ravenclaw. Leigh confirms Benoist is good at “math stuff.”

* Benoist’s stunt double Shauna Duggins has a lengthy resumé including Kill Bill and pinch-hitting for Sydney Bristow in JJ Abrams’ Alias.

* Leigh really, really, really, really wishes the showrunners would let Alex turn into an all-new Batgirl. REALLY wishes.

* When time began to run short for the Q&A, they asked all the young girls in line to step to the front to make sure they’d have the chance to ask their questions to their heroes.

* The final question of the hour came from a fan asking about their opinions of the sexualization of female super-heroes. The fan was a 12-year-old girl. Everyone was so impressed by the maturity level of the question that answering it kind of became beside the point.

…and that’s how 85% of our Saturday went. Friday was a fabulous day in itself, but Saturday was all we’d hoped and more. Much like the TV show itself.

More C2E2 pics to come. To be continued! Other entries in our special 9-part series:

* Part 1: C2E2 Kicks Off Our 2016 Convention Season in Style
* Part 2: Dance of the Mad Deadpools
* Part 4: Star Wars: The New Cosplay Order
* Part 5: Gaming and Animation Costumes!
* Part 6: Comics Costumes!
* Part 7: Last Call for Costumes!
* Part 8: Who We Met and What We Did
* Part 9: The Things They Carried

New Marvel meets modern manga: Silk and One Piece star Monkey D. Luffy.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: my wife and I spent two days at the seventh annual Chicago Comics and Entertainment Exposition, where Midwest comics fans in particular and geeks in general gather together in the name of imaginary worlds from print and screen to revel in fiction and touch bases on what’s hot or cool at this moment in pop culture.

In tonight’s photo gallery: costumes from your favorite comic books! Or someone else’s favorite comics, whichever. You’d think these would out number the other categories, but C2E2 attracts a diverse following of myriad tastes in reading material. Regrettably, it wasn’t till after we got home and I took inventory, when I realized Marvel and DC Comics were very nearly the only publishers represented in the “comics-based costumes” section. I have no idea how that happened, but it’s too late for retakes.

Regardless: onward!

Spider-Family deluxe: another Silk teamed up with Spider-Gwen, Iron Spider, Pokemon trainer Misty, and the only Harley Quinn you’ll see in this week-long MCC miniseries, though there were several hundred patrolling the show.

Spider-Man India, one of the undervalued members of the extended Spider-Family. (For those new to the idea: yes, Spider-Man India is a thing.)

War Machine and Black Widow, charter members of the No White Chrises Squad.

Erstwhile HYDRA leader Baron Strucker, armed with his deadly Satan Claw. You may remember him as one of the 461 characters vacuum-packed inside Avengers: Age of Ultron. He was played by Thomas Kretschmann, but sadly de-Satan-Clawed.

DOOM is less than pleased with his movie-universe surrogates and thinks Baron Strucker should count his blessings.

The Reverse-Flash, complete with his own Flash costume-ring.

Arrow and Speedy from TV’s Arrow. I want to say their companion is…a Joker/Harley mash-up? variant Sailor Mercury? an anime superstar popular with everyone younger than me?

The real Lex Luthor, who’d love to have a few words with Jesse Eisenberg about some…creative differences.

Bane hanging out with off-topic guest Gandalf the Grey. As allies with powerful facial hair go, he’s less of a backstabber than that Ra’s al Ghul.

Once upon a time, Donna Troy was Wonder Girl, charter member of the original Teen Titans. Then she was just Donna Troy. Then she was Troia, pictured above. Everything after that is a convoluted blur, but suffice it to say hanging with Jareth the Goblin King is a far better fate than being torn apart every six months by DC reboots.

Static Shock! Or just Static, if you’re an old Milestone Media fan like me. Either way, I’d pay good money to have the complete animated series on DVD, and even better money for a regular comic series that reverses everything I loathed about his New 52 reboot.

Ms. Marvel, another rising star in the Marvel universe, who recently made her video game debut in LEGO Marvel’s Avengers.

The Taskmaster, a classic villain who copied all the weapons and physical talents of all the Avengers. If he appears in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, he’ll just be a guy who has the proportionate strength and speed of five guys named Chris.

Jessica Jones costar Luke Cage, soon to headline his own Netflix series.

Another Luke Cage, this one in his classic ’70s super-costume as part of the mismatched buddy-hero duo we called Power Man and Iron Fist. Soon to be Netflix acquaintances.

That time Marvel and DC used to do crossovers, but the comics executives decided Iron Fist just wasn’t white enough and replaced him with Captain Cold.

To be continued! Other entries in our special 9-part series:

* Part 1: C2E2 Kicks Off Our 2016 Convention Season in Style
* Part 2: Dance of the Mad Deadpools
* Part 3: We Are Here For Supergirl!
* Part 4: Star Wars: The New Cosplay Order
* Part 5: Gaming and Animation Costumes
* Part 7: Last Call for Costumes!
* Part 8: Who We Met and What We Did
* Part 9: The Things They Carried

Which grim-‘n’-gritty breakfast mascot’s product do you think should win: Batman Chocolate Strawberry cereal or Superman Caramel Crunch cereal? Both are real things now in stores, and they’re banking on this movie to sell them somehow.

Look, everyone else online had a turn venting about Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice the past few days, so I want my turn now. The TL;DR version:

* Not the worst Zack Snyder film ever
* Definitely not the worst super-hero film ever
* It had good things in it
* The good things were outnumbered
* I don’t actively root against DC’s films to fail, but I’m not gonna mollycoddle them with blind adulation, because superheroes are not my religion
* Filmmakers still don’t get Superman
* This movie is more about superpowers than about superheroes
* I’ve been collecting comics for 37 years and I’m 98% certain I’m not this film’s target audience
* If Monday night’s Supergirl/The Flash crossover was an Earth-1 team-up, BvS is its Earth-3 doppelgänger

Short version for the unfamiliar: In a distant alternate present, Ben Affleck’s Batman has been on the job for 20+ years, still hasn’t turned Gotham City into paradise, still prone to PTSD flashbacks of his parents’ deaths (even in middle age he’s as broken as the Punisher and no more recovered from his grief than the kid from Gotham), and dealing with new psychological scarring after the events of Man of Steel that were like 9/11 expanded into a ten-square-mile mega-catastrophe. He’s more vengeful than ever and fixated on ensuring such metahuman decimation never happens again. So the flying laser-eye alien neck-snapper must PAY.

Henry Cavill’s Superman, raised by the most selfish and discouraging Ma and Pa Kent in DC Comics history, is sad. Saving people helps pass the time and put his abilities to good use, but he’s happiest when he’s saving Amy Adams’ Lois from danger, which he does at least four times, sometimes pulling the movie’s emergency brake so he can stop and chat with her in peace for a minute, leaving the bad guys on standby till he’s good and ready to continue filming. I didn’t see him smile once.

Jesse Eisenberg’s competently smart/creepy Lex Luthor has a scheme in mind that seems convoluted because the first two hours were julienne-sliced and patched together by someone who thought The Wire was cool but didn’t quite get it. The streamlined version: Luthor’s abusive upbringing left him with an amoral desire to avoid powerlessness by always being the most powerful man around. When Superman’s existence threatens his status and manhood, he quests for green kryptonite to defend his self-appointed ranking. When that falls through, Plan B is using one of the hoariest tricks in the Silver Age playbook to get him and Batman to fight and fight and fight, but then their death match ends in stalemate (major spoiler for anyone new to fiction who honestly thought one of them would murder the other). Plan C is Lex makes a great big monster whose super-powers are punching, evolving, and literally EXPLOSIONS.

Hey, look, it’s that one actor!: Gal Gadot’s Wonder Woman wins all her seven minutes of screen time and instills great hopes in her forthcoming, very first solo movie. Our new Princess Diana smiles more times during the movie than Supes, Lois, and me combined. Any viewers unhappy that this non-American character has a non-American accent should leave the house more often.

Jeremy Irons’ grumpy, frazzled tech-genius Alfred is stuck in a poisonous long-term relationship, sick and tired of his partner never listening to him, and yet he can’t bear to break it off because he knows he’s needed and leaving will only send his partner over the edge. But that doesn’t make their incessant bickering any more endearing.

Laurence Fishburne returns as Perry White but plays him like J. Jonah Jameson and drags newspaper editors two steps back from all the progress Spotlight made on their behalf. Amy Adams also returns, mostly as a damsel in distress plus one gratuitous nude scene. Technically she helps in the final battle but would’ve been pretty easy to write out. Also returning is Harry J. Lennix from The Matrix‘s sequels, still an Army general who’s more helpful this time and rewarded with more screen time.

Diane Lane and dead Kevin Costner remain the Kents, prime scapegoats for everything wrong about Superman. Also from the Department of Lamented Parents, The Walking Dead‘s Lauren Cohan and her upcoming costar Jeffrey Dean Morgan tag in as Thomas and Martha Wayne for the mandatory “MY PARENTS ARE DEEEAAAD!” flashbacks. The one that opens the movie is actually rather stylish and deploys the same old imagery in stunning new ways. (Fun movie-math trivia: a particular item in their big scene sets it circa 1981.)

New players this time: Academy Award Winner Holly Hunter is the politician representing mankind’s anti-death interests. Argo‘s Scoot McNairy is a furious paraplegic whose life was ruined by Man of Steel. Mariko from The Wolverine is Lex’s assistant Mercy Graves. Michael Shannon’s Zod is around in flesh if not in spirit.

BvS screeches to a halt twice for gratuitous teasers for the next five DC films, replete with cameos by their respective stars and a few recognizable comics henchmonsters. A particular photo of Wonder Woman includes a glimpse of her film’s well-known costar.

Lots of cable-TV newspeople and personalities pop in as themselves for verisimilitude. Points to Nancy Grace for being the least fawning among them.

Meaning or EXPLOSIONS? In the wake of all those debates about Man of Steel‘s controversial ending, the first few dozen acts are spent contemplating the question, “Is it stupid to have gods or idols?” Lex in particular pushes this agenda with his bitter assertion that either an all-powerful God can’t be good (or else he’d just save the day for all seven billion humans every day, every minute, and we’d all be perpetually unblemished and cozy), or that if God is good, then He must not be all-powerful (like, He loves us and would really love to keep bailing us out but he totally can’t reach). His ultimate conclusion, then, is that true Power is always guilty of something and therefore innately evil. His lines don’t always make sense and his flawed theology shows he hasn’t done much related reading or introspection, but that’s where his false dichotomy lands him.

If we want to give extra credit where none was asked for, Lex’s one-line description of his abusive upbringing is a sad reminder of what happens when a child affected by domestic violence receives zero positive influence to show them better ways of living.

Superman could respond to any or all of this with some kind words or an uplifting speech about great power and great responsibility, about putting your talents to use for a greater purpose, about the importance of those dutiful citizens and role models who insist on trying to do the right thing even in the worst of times. Grant Gustin’s Flash is a young master of this discipline, once a mandatory quality in all of comics’ greatest super-heroes, but Cavill’s Man of Tomorrow receives no support from two screenwriters who must be too cool to write inspirational speeches for today’s audiences, many of whom could really use some. Instead he’s a brooding cypher, a logical extension of Tom Welling’s perpetually pouty Red-Blue Blur. If he happens to notice you about to die on live TV, or if you’re Lois, count on him to be there, but don’t expect any kind or useful words.

So after raising such complex topics, the movie answers none of them and in the end its only rejoinders are EXPLOSIONS. The final boss battle is against Doomsday, an all-CG Abomination with no credited actor inside, who continually explodes and explodes in between blows, generating his own obscured backdrop of smoke, dust, light shows, and still more EXPLOSIONS. It’s a fitting visual gimmick for the climactic showdown, set in a flattened and indistinct terrain as far away from civilization and Man of Steel atrocity complaints as possible, short of relocating to Mars. The repetitive EXPLOSIONS feign the appearance of Doomsday doing anything when in fact he’s mostly just standing there and growling a lot while everything around him turns into the formless wasteland from the end of X-Men: The Last Stand. Thus dissipates all that archly worded morality-tale setup.

Nitpicking? If the idea of Batman killing or using guns is a deal-breaker, cross this one off your list for all time for your own good. Mack Bolan Batman is not my favorite version, but I’ve seen so many minor infringements and major deviations in so many past renditions that I got tired of playing Jonni DC, Continuity Cop, and shouting “THAT’S NOT BATMAN!” years ago. Not my exhausting fight anymore.

Women and anyone else who consider Wonder Woman the primary reason to see BvS should maybe just wait for her inevitable 7-minute YouTube supercut. Her shining seconds aside, this extended wrestling tournament is by dudes for dudes about dudes plus dudes dudes dudes.

As for that much-touted title match between the Bat of Steel and the Dark Son of Krypton: if you’re looking for a live-action staging of Frank Miller’s Batman: The Dark Knight Returns #4, Snyder nails its dynamics and machismo with visual flair, but the contrivance that finally gets Bats and Supes in the ring is straight out of the Silver Age, and could’ve been solved with forms of communication. ANY of them. Bats is blinded by great vengeance and furious anger, while Supes is dumbstruck and can’t help spouting the same old series of clichés always guaranteed to get good guys slapping each other. If you’re ever this close to throwing down with someone but could clear everything up with a single sentence, by all that is holy, pretty please avoid all of the following:

* “You don’t understand!”
* “We need to talk!”
* “There’s no time!”
* “You have to listen to me!”
* “Calm down for a minute!”
* “Look, if you’ll just give me a chance…”
* “There’s a perfectly good explanation for all of this!”

Seconds before the walloping commences, Superman says three of these empty time-wasters in a row. WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG. Skip all preambles and say the single sentence that could clear everything up. Don’t be a lunkhead straight outta 1960s comics.

Minutes later, the exact plot point that ends the battle was, to me, one of the funniest parts of the entire movie. It hinges on one of the largest, oldest coincidences I’ve ever failed to notice; if I had been aware of it sooner, I wouldn’t have been able to contain my laughter. My wife and son have already explained and agreed with the intent of the scene, but that’s not how it played to me. Snyder chooses that ostensibly emotional breakthrough moment to whip out one of the most played-out running gags in the 75-year-old Batman toolbox, and it was the wrong tool for the job. In my head I can imagine a rewrite that would make the scene work with more dignity and without undercutting the Caped Crusader’s crucial epiphany.

While we’re script-doctoring, I’d also toss out the multiple dream sequences because those are lazy on principle, and — in a fit of post-geek anti-consumerism — I’d ditch all those teasers for the next five movies. Two of them are so bewildering that I can’t imagine anyone who’s unfamiliar with the comics getting much out of them unless they brought along an annoying friend who likes listing every Easter egg he spots while you’re trying to watch the movie in peace. Not only do they hobble the movie’s already slack, disjointed pacing, but they’re all gussied-up signifiers that the DC Comics movie series will be far more about commerce than about art. Granted, all for-profit art forms are inherently objects of commerce, but I get fussy when marketing department objectives are boldly and greedily moved to the forefront at the expense of storytelling aesthetics.

Related note: I’m told the occasionally inspired desert dream sequence was a direct tie-in to DC’s Injustice video game, which I have no plans to play. Cool for those fans, I’m sure, though now all it evokes for me is transmedia marketing synergy in action.

Differently related note: the hollow “ending” is a cliffhanger that offers no real conclusion, merely a cutoff point for this epic-length chapter 1 of what DC hopes will be a saga of infinite chapters and super-infinite cash flows. We can pretend that all the philosophical conflicts will be resolved in our next exciting installment, and that the obvious denouement will make everything retroactively cohesive and meaningful in a positive manner, but I wouldn’t count on it.

Lighter, minor, eye-rolling note: axiomatic of all Bat-works across all media, whenever there’s a flying Bat-vehicle, there shall be a flying Bat-vehicle crash. Always. Another oldie from that darn Batman toolbox.

So what’s to like? Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice suffers from a severe disconnect between its Nolan-esque opening hours and its eager who’s-stronger-Batman-or-Superman schoolyard dust-up, which come off like two movies stitched together by company orders and lack of a third writer who could’ve done a much better patchwork job of syncing them up. If Snyder had kept the first two hours simplistic (and shorter) instead of attempting to get high-minded and deep, the critics’ bar would’ve remained at the intellectual bumper-bowling level of a Michael Bay carnival ride. Everyone could’ve been all like “Oh, hey, popcorn film!” and be done with it, like we all usually agree to do for Pirates of the Caribbean sequels or Dwayne Johnson vehicles. But by raising the narrative stakes and trying to play a different game, the risks are greater and the bluffing is easier to call out.

I genuinely like Affleck as Frank Miller’s aging, resentful Batman galvanized by senseless widescale destruction, and hope he plans to stick around for future Bat-projects in a more supervisory capacity. His Batmobile chase, the multi-thug fight sequence from the final trailer, and that undeniably powerful Metropolis prologue are among the movie’s best rewind/rewatch bits for action lovers. Beyond Affleck’s control, though, it bugs me that, in appointing Miller’s alt-timeline Dark Knight as their main-timeline present, and in announcing future Bat-movies continuing in that same vein, DC has decided this single-use Elseworlds offshoot shall now be the default Batman. Too bad he’s a lousy entry point for potential new Batman fans. If you’re old and you’ve seen plenty of Batmen in your time, it’s no big deal, but in a future where fans who don’t read comics want to get to know Batman and have BvS as their first attempt, they’ll meet a raging sourpuss that doesn’t match the face they’ve been seeing on cereal boxes or on the ice-cream cases at Cold Stone Creamery. I don’t envy the kids in that future.

And then there’s Superman. Heavy sigh. Cavill as a performer does exemplary work with the disappointing material and marching orders. His reluctant soldier of few words is, y’know, a viable interpretation of the forefather of all superheroes, I suppose, but I’m not really vesting too much of myself in this alt-Superman take because DC/Warner Bros.’ chosen filmmakers haven’t even proven they can get THE Superman right. All those endless, choppy scene fragments are spent tearing him down and staring inside the pieces and trying to build a case for “Why Superman?” — more for themselves than for their viewers — but then end the project without putting him back together. This is ultimately why they have yet to top the original Superman: the Movie — that one was a film made not with a cynic’s craving for analytical deconstruction, but with a believer’s heart.

And Christopher Reeve’s classic of the genre wasn’t just a movie about superpowers. It was a movie about a super-hero. Saving lives is an awesome thing that heroes do, but the world’s greatest super-heroes take it to the next level and do even more. The fine minds behind The CW’s The Flash and Supergirl get it. Here’s hoping one of the directors on those next fifty-two merchandising campaigns doubling as movie projects will figure it out, too.

How about those end credits? No, there’s no scene after the Dawn of Justice end credits, though there’s a nice “Special Thanks” section for several comics creators, including the writers and pencillers who collaborated on Doomsday’s first story arc, not too many of whom are still working regularly in the medium today.

Maybe Batwoman could take Deadpool alone, but if Wonder Woman wants to cameo, no one’s gonna tell her no.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: Friday and Saturday, my wife and I attended the third annual Indiana Comic Con at the Indiana Convention Center in scenic downtown Indianapolis. In Part One you saw every viable costume photo we took on Friday. We caught so many cosplayers in action today that the Saturday results will be split into two (maybe three) entries.

In tonight’s gallery: another batch of Deadpool variants, which we suspect will be a thing for years to come, and heroes and villains from the Batman family, which kept catching our eye more than usual this time around. Enjoy!

Ready for some baseball! It’s…Ballparkpool? Sportspool? Bettingpool? Cincinnati Redpool?

Harley Quinn! Have hammer, will hammer.

Bedpool, the Merc with a Mattress.

Joker & Harley disguised and apparently struggling with creative differences.

Jarheadpool, carrying a Zombie Deadpool head as a trophy.

My wife is undertall, gracious, and quite polite, but if she spots a Batman ’66 character across the way, she will mow down entire crowds crossing the distance just to meet them. Speaking of which: it’s Batgirl!

Refpool, apparently not getting ready to rumble.

The Batman of Mishawaka was one of our line-buddies twice today. We chatted a lot and all had a blast, but by the end of the day the poor guy was reduced to 200 pounds of Bat-perspiration. That’s dedication to a character.

Penguin and his goon hitting the campaign trail, and not the worst candidate in this campaign season. For the boxing-umbrella alone he’s got my write-in vote.

Penguin even gave my wife a campaign button. If only we’d thought to bring a baby for him to kiss.

Penguin has a message we can all get behind. The best Batman can come up with is “Do you bleed?” Some hero. Sad!

To be continued! Check out Part Three for one last call for cosplay, and the forthcoming Part Four for our complete Indiana Comic Con 2016 not-cosplay report!

One of our souvenirs from C2E2 last March. Follow the link for our even better Supergirl photo!

My wife and I were pleased to learn this evening one of our favorite shows now on the air, DC’s Supergirl, has been renewed for season 2 after a few rounds of negotiated compromises. Up front we’ve been told the show will be relocating from Los Angeles to Vancouver for cheaper filming, if they can find a few square feet not in use by the 300 other shows and movies already shooting there. Biggest change of all (for now): Supergirl will be moving from CBS to The CW, which is bad news for fans in numerous cities without their own CW affiliate. Here’s hoping your internet access is higher-quality than your local broadcasting industry is.

What else does this mean for the show? What other corners will be cut? What wrongheaded executive demands will ruin everything and turn us all against it? I shudder to contemplate what the future holds for our beloved stars and the only CBS show I’ve followed within the last four years.

From the home office in Indianapolis, IN: Top 10 Changes When “Supergirl” Moves to The CW:

10. No more pricey superpower effects, just crimefighting with lots of spunk and wit
9. Evil Kryptonians replaced by evil young sexy bankers
8. Weekly love triangles created faster than Kara can ditch them
7. Cat Grant gives up coffee, gets hooked on Subway $5 footlongs. Subway: eat fresh!
6. Double the new-music montages, but performed by amateur singers “for exposure”
5. David Harewood’s hopes for DC’s Agents of D.E.O. spinoff unreasonably high
4. No more Scorpion ads to cringe at
3. Main villain Mr. Mxyzptlk is just a sock puppet with a tiny fedora
2. Guy we thought was Superman revealed as Rogelio from Jane the Virgin

And the Number One Change When Supergirl Moves to The CW:

1. CW demands total reboot, hires new cast made of actresses who died on other shows

This weekend my wife Anne and I attended the 38th annual Superman Celebration in the city of Metropolis, near the southern tip of Illinois. We’ve previously attended in 2001, 2006, 2008, and 2015. We don’t make the 300-mile drive every year, but we always try to leave room on our calendar if we can, just in case.

We cleared all other appointments once this year’s four big headliners were announced. Two of those gents are costars of DC’s fun TV version of Supergirl, a favorite of ours this past season. We previously met Melissa Benoist and Chyler Leigh at C2E2 last March. We couldn’t believe we already had the chance to meet two more from its cast — Mehcad Brooks, who plays a more mature version of James “don’t call me Jimmy” Olsen; and, as billionaire genius Maxwell Lord, Peter Facinelli, a.k.a. papa vampire Dr. Carisle Cullen in the Twilight series.

On Saturday shortly before 11:30, both gents showed up at the town’s world-famous Superman statue for photo-op misadventures with the crowd. I don’t normally do a straight photo gallery with zero captions, but they made it hard not to.

Facinelli was up first, crawling under the Man of Steel’s legs from behind and then striking a pose.

Then it was Brooks’ turn. He was a Calvin Klein model before he transitioned into acting in such series as The Game and Necessary Roughness, so the man knows his way around a room full of cameras. ‘Twas no simple task narrowing down all the photos to just a few greatest hits. Kara’s best friend James made this Superman Celebration look good.

At one point a helpful volunteer got the smart idea of lending him a journalist-quality camera so he could pose as JAMES OLSEN, ACTION PHOTOGRAPHER.

After our moment at the statue, Our Heroes adjourned to the main tent for a half-hour Q&A. Both men talked about the accident they had on set a while back, filming a scene in which Maxwell Lord has James captive and tied in a chair. Facinelli, tossing an ominous wrench from one hand to the other, lost his grip and watched helplessly as it nailed Brooks in the knee, sending him to the hospital and shutting down production for a few days. A deeply apologetic Facinelli later sent him a wrench set as a birthday gift. He was also asked what it was like working on Twilight, and what it was like playing a normal doctor on Nurse Jackie versus a much older vampire doctor.

When asked the common question about whether anyone plays pranks on the Supergirl set, Facinelli responded, “I like throwing wrenches at people. It’s pretty funny!”

One youngster asked if season 2 would see any Superman villains coming to National City. Brooks confirmed production resumes July 18th, but that the actors are powerless and know nothing about anything till the scripts arrive in their hands. A curious Brooks asked, “What villains do you want to see?”

Young girl, after a long pause: “Lex Luthor.”

Brooks, in a Serious Business tone like Santa taking requests: “I’ll see what I can do.”

Before all this came the fans’ photo ops with the stars. Session A was bright ‘n’ early at 9 a.m. We were there early to stake our place in line and catch their arrival circa 9:05, excited but feeling like some kind of amateur paparazzi.

Facinelli’s table was first. Nice guy, of course, nowhere near as scheming as that well-intentioned yet oft-vexing Maxwell Lord, though I was mid-pose and look goofy.

Next was Brooks. We gushed about the show and our appreciation for his version of the iconic Super-sidekick as an older journalist who’s been around for years, learned from his Metropolis experiences, and matured beyond the young gosh-wowie level that the character’s usually trapped in like amber. He responded with hugs…

(Photo-op photos by Celebration volunteers.)

…and then, in our own special fashion, we had to follow up with jazz hands. This is who we are and what we do.

They weren’t the only guests in town for this year’s Superman Celebration. And Brooks wasn’t the only Jimmy Olsen around. To be continued!

(Be sure to check out Part Two for pics of two more Jimmy Olsen actors plus other guests; Part Three for our epic-length cosplay photo gallery; and links to more chapters coming soon!)

Marc McClure and Michael Landes in a tale that should be called “The Jimmy Olsen of Two Worlds!”

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: June 10th and 11th, my wife Anne and I attended the 38th annual Superman Celebration in the city of Metropolis, Illinois. In Part One you met two of the headliners, Mehcad Brooks and Twilight’s Peter Facinelli from TV’s Supergirl. Brooks was one of three actors on hand who’s played Jimmy Olsen to someone else’s Kryptonian hero. Pictured above: Marc McClure, costar of the four Superman movies starring Christopher Reeve; and Michael Landes, costar of the first season of the ’90s series Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman. My wife likes to describe the weekend as a veritable “Jimmypalooza”.

Actors weren’t the only guests around. We also had the pleasure of meeting director Jon Schnepps and producer Holly Payne, the minds behind the recent documentary The Death of “Superman Lives”: What Happened?, the astonishing true story of that time Nicolas Cage, director Tim Burton, and writer Kevin Smith tried and failed to make a, uh, truly unique Superman film together. I’ve been wanting to see this for months even though I’m afraid to see it for myself.

Photo courtesy of the Department of Not Sure Why We Didn’t Just Take Their Photo When We Met Them.

Over in Artists Alley I had the chance to meet a pair of talented comics pros: Rick Burchett, one of the longtime contributors to DC’s Batman: The Animated Series comics and, more recently, their Brave & the Bold kids’ series, of which he brought several trades for sale; and Jon Bogdanove, co-creator of John Henry Irons, a.k.a. Steel (the one brought to life by Shaquille O’Neal in the eponymous film). Before his long run on Superman: The Man of Steel, I was a big fan of his work on Marvel’s Power Pack, which he penciled and sometimes wrote for over two years at just the right moment for teenage me.

Hasty pic of Jon Bogdanove in a hurry. More on that in a future entry.

Also in Artists Alley was freelance writer Brian K. Morris, whom we first met at Gen Con and last saw at C2E2. He was on hand to sell lots of nifty reading matter and fill in gaps in my comics history knowledge. (I thought my subscription to Comics Buyer’s Guide had covered all the bases for me back in the day, but apparently not.) On Saturday we had the pleasure of watching him host a special presentation on the comics history of Superman and Batman, with a little help from some friends.

(You’ll see pics of his colorful stage companions in Part 3.)

Another local business, the Americana Hollywood Museum, brought in a classic-TV guest of their own for the occasion: Butch Patrick, the original Eddie Munster from The Munsters. He had his own tent on the north end of the main straightaway with a pair of most unusual exhibit pieces we’ll feature in another chapter. (Part Four or Five, maybe. We just got home this afternoon and I don’t have a fixed outline for this miniseries. Coming soon!)

As you’d expect, when Anne began to quote from her favorite episode, he could finish the lines. Thumbs up!

The two Jimmy Olsens joined forces at the Superman statue shortly before 1:30 and gave the crowd a double dose of Superman’s pal.

“We are the greatest Olsens of ALL TIMES!”

“Look, we’ll draw a line down the middle; you stay on your half of Superman, and I’ll stay on mine.”

The crowd gathers ’round for words of wisdom from Jimmy and Jimmy.

“Look! Up in the sky!” “No, YOU look up in the sky!” “No, hey, YOU LOOK — “

(I’ve been captioning every photo for fun, but feel free to take a turn with this one.)

After our moment at the statue, Our Heroes adjourned to the main tent for an extended Q&A. Tidbits:

* McClure was in the first and third Back to the Future movies, but deleted from the second because test audiences thought it weird that Marty McFly’s brother was around but his sister wasn’t. (Wendie Jo Sperber was unavailable due to childbirth.) McClure had to pause quite a bit whenever questions were asked about Christopher Reeve. On the lighter side, he dislikes Henry Cavill’s Super-suit, likening its scaly design to something “like Aquaman or Lizard-Man.” He officially retired from acting at age 55 (he’s now 59) but has a small part — hopefully a recurring role — in the upcoming NBC/DC Comics sitcom Powerless, which he’s doing literally for the health insurance.

* Landes has a part in an upcoming Matthew McConaughey vehicle called Gold, but laments that actors with fourth, fifth, or lower billing in movies don’t get paid nearly as much as they used to, so any non-A-list actors not lucky enough to score TV gigs find themselves more and more having to “sing for my supper”, so to speak. He’ll next be seen this summer on the UK channel Sky 1 starring in an eight-episode action-adventure series called Hooten & the Lady (he’s the Hooten), alongside the likes of Dr. Quinn‘s Jane Russell and Jonathan Bailey, the meddlesome reporter nephew from Broadchurch.

Many kind words were shared about the late Jack Larson, the Jimmy Olsen from George Reeves’ Adventures of Superman. About Justin Whalin, the guy who took Landes’ job on Lois & Clark, not so much.

Not long after the Q&A came the meet-‘n’-greet with Michael Landes. At first I tried to think of something to say about Final Destination 2 besides raving about the opening car-crash stunt spectacular, but deferred to Anne’s kindnesses instead.

The helpful Celebration volunteer snapped two photos for us. Landes looks better in this one, so it wins. I, on the other hand, look like a drunken madman and have harshly cropped myself out for the sake of my own self-esteem.

McClure arrived in Metropolis the day before, so he was the first actor we met this weekend. Anne is a lifelong fan of Superman: The Movie and watched it so many times on videodisc (go look it up, children) that she memorized every single line and used to be able to perform all 2½ hours of it as a one-woman show.

So this moment was a pretty big deal for her.

And these weren’t all the colorful characters we saw at this year’s Superman Celebration. To be continued in Part Three’s epic-length cosplay photo gallery!

Arch-rivals Sinestro and Green Lantern in a rare team-up moment. Some of you may recognize the distinguished gentleman in the middle.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: June 10th and 11th, my wife Anne and I attended the 38th annual Superman Celebration in the city of Metropolis, Illinois. In Part One you met two of the headliners, Mehcad Brooks and Twilight’s Peter Facinelli from TV’s Supergirl. In Part Two you met the other guests, including two more famous Jimmy Olsens — Marc McClure from the four Superman films and Michael Landes from TV’s Lois & Clark.

As with any other comics-themed event, there shall always be cosplay. Rather than stagger our super-hero costume photo gallery across a few themed entry, right here is all the costumes fit to print. Most were from DC, but a few other superhumans infiltrated the proceedings from neighboring universes. Fortunately for them the citizens of Metropolis are welcoming to any and all — especially in times like these, when we need heroes now more than ever. All heroes.

(For value-added puzzle fun, see how many Supergirls you can count. If you can spot five or more, consider yourself an honorary CatCo Correspondent!)

SECTION ONE: THE WORLD OF SUPERMAN!

Obviously we ought to have at least one Superman in the lineup, right? This one’s joined by old foe Solomon Grundy, Bane, Bizarro Supergirl, and Ant-Man, sneaking in from another universe, which is just the kind of thing Paul Rudd would do.

Just as we had more than one actor who’s played, so did we have more than one cosplayer with us in Marc McClure’s line as Jimmy Olsen, this one armed with camera and trademark bow tie.

In civilian life, the other Jimmy Olsen is local man Mike Meyer, who made headlines five years ago when some heartless bounder stole a chunk of his large collection of Superman comics and memorabilia. The perp was caught and, in an outpouring of love, fans nationwide sent him Super-donations to replenish his collection. The response was so overwhelming that he ended up donating a lot of it to others in turn. ‘Twas an honor to meet him in person.

Mr. Mxyzptlk sneaking away from the Fifth Dimension for a bit of mischief. Bonus points if you can correctly pronounce all four syllables.

Silver Banshee, a post-Crisis Superman villain who turned up this season on Supergirl.

Much as we’d like to forget Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, we must never forget the Nuclear Man. EVER.

What if baby Kal-El’s rocket landed in the USSR instead of in Kansas? You’d have the star of Mark Millar and Dave Johnson’s Elseworlds saga Superman: Red Son.

SECTION TWO: GOTHAM BY SUNLIGHT!

Batman and Robin emerge from the shadows because no one can resist posing in front of the Superman statue. Flaunting the emergency kryptonite he keeps in his utility belt seems kind of gauche, though.

Friday’s Jimmy Olsen, ace photographer, transformed Saturday into Oswald Cobblepot, the best thing about TV’s Gotham.

Jack Nicholson’s Joker. We’ve got a live one here!

Nearly every cosplay gallery we share has at least one costume we don’t recognize, and would love any labeling assistance we can get from You, The Viewers at Home. “Riddle me this!” says the Riddler, introducing today’s guest strangers. Little help? [UPDATED 6/14/2016, 10:45 p.m. EDT: super-special thanks to Holly at Bloggity Ramblings for recognizing Slenderman when memory failed me. The jury’s still out on Pajama Cowboy.]

SECTION THREE: HEROES OF THE DC MULTIVERSE!

The Flash and Green Lantern John Stewart, your core Justice League members in the house.

From the awesomeness that is The Flash, our man’s flanked by his season-1 Big Bad, the Reverse-Flash, and season 2’s sinister Zoom. Run, Barry, RUN!

Mr. Miracle and Green Arrow, fully accredited JLA members who occasionally suffer the indignity of being mistaken for Hawkeye or Iron Man. Kids clearly learn nothing in school these days.

Also on the old JLA roster: Zatanna! (“Stekcit hpargotua otni nrut, ynnuB!”)

Hawkman on loan from TV’s Legends of Tomorrow, making himself more useful here.

And the animated version of his beloved Hawkgirl.

Fire and Ice from the ’80s Justice League hang out with Stargirl from the Justice Society of America. Fans will notice she’s wielding the Cosmic Staff given to her by Jack Knight, the early-retired Starman.

SHAZAM! is what we have no choice but to call him, because his ex-sobriquet Captain Marvel has been taken by some big movie company or whatever.

Dr. Fate, DC’s own master of the mystic arts. Eagle-eyed viewers of NBC’s Constantine spotted his fabled Helmet of Nabu on a dusty shelf in at least one episode.

Red X, undercover hero from Teen Titans — the original series my son and I really liked, not the current one that’s totally not aimed at either of us.

From the deepest depths of DC’s Who’s Who, it’s the animal-powered hero that men were asked to call…B’wana Beast! My wife thought he was just some dude who had the right idea about how to cope with the 90-degree heat. For once in his career, B’Wana Beast may have been the smartest of us all.

Friday at 5 p.m.: all-ages costume parade! Bonus points to Miss Martian there for thinking outside the box.

SECTION FOUR: HISTORY OF THE DC UNIVERSE!

As mentioned briefly in Part Two, Saturday morning we attended a special presentation in which writer Brian K. Morris taught visitors about the rich, varied, occasionally outlandish history of the DC Comics universe with a little help from some special friends, most of whom are presented below. (Solomon Grundy, seen above, was also among their number.)

“I get to go first…BECAUSE I’M BATMAN!”

Composite Joker features pieces from the character’s multiple multimedia personae.

Wonder Woman! Soon to star in a major motion picture!

Long before Yvonne Craig represented for women’s lib, there was the original Golden Age Bat-Girl! Not making this up!

Supergirl, now at the absolute height of her popularity, partly thanks to those quitters at CBS.

Post-Crisis Lex Luthor, complete with glove to cover the hand afflicted with kryptonite poisoning. That was a thing in my day, y’see.

Super-Harley! Or rather, Harley Quinn trying to disguise herself as Supergirl and hopefully start scoring paychecks from The CW.

SECTION FIVE: NOT NECESSARILY THE DC UNIVERSE!

Another Harley Quinn with her new partner Joy from Pixar’s Inside Out.

Cyclops from the X-Men movies, which begs an interesting question: what would happen if he aimed his ruby quartz rays through a piece of red kryptonite? Your move, fanfic writers.

Gambit, for you ’90s X-fans out there.

Even in a small-town costume gathering hundreds of miles from the nearest major convention center, there’s no escaping Mandatory Deadpool.

French-MaidPool, the Ruffian with Ruffles.

Look out, Supergirl! Jason Voorhees already got to Superman and YOU’RE NEXT!

To be continued!

Superman. Batman. Life-size DOOMSDAY.

Previously on Midlife Crisis Crossover: June 10th and 11th, my wife Anne and I attended the 38th annual Superman Celebration in the city of Metropolis, Illinois. In Part One you met Supergirl‘s Mehcad Brooks and Peter Facinelli; in Part Two you met the dueling Jimmy Olsens, Marc McClure and Michael Landes; in Part Three, so very much cosplay.

On our first visit to Metropolis in 2001, we made a point of visiting Jim Hambrick’s Super Museum, their premier tourist attraction and the heart of every Superman Celebration. One of America’s foremost collectors of all things Superman has amassed enough Hollywood souvenirs, props, artifacts, and other prized obscurities to merit a public display space for fellow fans to enjoy. (We’ve even visited other museums that have items of his on loan.) We opted out on our last few visits, but this time we thought it might be nice to check back, see any new pieces he’s acquired in the past fifteen years, and retake some of the photos we took last time that seem to be hiding from us now. For five bucks a fan it’s worth a look-see and guaranteed to show you something you’ve never seen up close before.

Open 7 days a week whether there’s a Superman Celebration or not.

One of many display cases filled with Superman merchandise from every era, even including ’90s post-resurrection long-hair Superman.

George Reeves’ Clark Kent glasses worn for the filming of The Adventures of Superman.

Ancient Jimmy Olsen suit and bow tie from way, way back when.

Good ol’ Inspector Henderson may not receive the same recognition as Lois or Jimmy, but he’s worthy enough to have his actual hat in the collection.

This vintage issue of TV Guide struck a nerve for my wife, a longtime Superman fan who used to collect TV Guide for years and years and years,

This creepy Superbaby disturbs me for reasons I can’t quite fathom.

One of the great Christopher Reeve’s Superman suits. Pause here for moment of reverence.

Crystals from planet Krypton. I remember these from our last visit.

Actual suit worn by the astronaut that Ursa knocked around in Superman II.

The old Super Museum signage likewise makes nice historical keepsakes.

Dean Cain’s Superman suit paired with Teri Hatcher’s Ultra Woman suit from Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman.

Kal-El’s cousin Kara gets her own corner devoted to her phases and their corresponding fashion choices. Note at far left Helen Slater’s flying harness from the one and so far only Supergirl movie.

One of the first pieces to greet you as you enter: a larger-than-life guest appearance by Wonder Woman, Superman’s colleague, friend, and sometimes girlfriend. (Hey, don’t make that face at me. I didn’t write the New 52.)

To be concluded!